So despite not being a little old lady, I wear hearing aids, because apparently my ears are defective. In other words, I’m a cyborg enhanced with advanced hearing technology.

Those of you who don’t think this makes me a cyborg are probably the same group who don’t think Die Hard is a Christmas movie, and you really need to rediscover your joy.

Okay, I admit that one has nothing to do with the other. But I just read this article about how 62% of people wrongly think that Die Hard isn’t a Christma...