We’ve all been there—you’re enjoying a round of golf, when suddenly, on the third or fourth hole, you run into the equivalent of blizzard conditions on I-94, with slide-offs and standstill traffic. Looking two holes ahead, you note the cause of the traffic jam… the dreaded party of six.

More likely than not, they’re laughing loudly while one pulls out another sixpack from their cart as another sets down a cigar to tee off. As the ball hooks into the neighboring fairway, the golfer pulls out a second ball from their pocket and tees up again. And again…

We get it, they’re not spray painting swear words on a highway underpass or setting fire to a farmer’s barn. They’re not pushing down elderly people or throwing rocks at puppies. They’re just passing the day by enjoying a round of golf. The problem is, they’re ruining YOUR round.

It’s an occurrence that happens daily on any golf course, and a situation that occurs more often at the smaller courses that don’t have the luxury of having a ranger keeping an eye on things. As the phone rings in the pro shop, it’s not unusual for the person on the other end to be a golfer on the course who has just run into the buzzsaw created by groups of five, six, or even eight golfers, all thinking they’re not causing any harm.

But they are.  

There is no upside for the poor employee forced to hop on a cart so they can travel to what is probably the sixth or seventh hole just so they can take on the role of Bad Cop. While the congenial sixsome will plead the fifth that they are slowing traffic, proof that they realize the errors of their way is that they always start out as two separate groups as they tee off on hole one, not forming their fairway party until they are out of sight of the pro shop. And the argument is always the same. Their just having fun and allowing everyone and their brother to play through. But the problem remains the same, it’s wrong for many reasons.

By allowing golfers to play through, the golfers playing further back must wait while the parties ahead of them wait for the large group to finish the hole. Nothing ruins a round of golf faster than having to wait an excruciatingly long time on every hole.While the sixsome claims that they are letting everyone to play through, they are less apt to allow a foursome to play through, slowing play even moreIt’s a fact that when you add more people to a group of golfers, mixed with the usual props that go along with making it a party, golf becomes a sidebar to hijinks, sometimes resulting in damage to fairways, equipment and greens. And of course, slow play.Most of these sixsomes are on carts (Where else does one put all those beverages?), and when the party of six allows group after group to play through, what would have normally been a one hour round on a nine hole golf, now become two hours on the course. Two hours for three carts to be away from the clubhouse. No golf course has an unlimited supply of carts, and when there are golfers waiting on carts to come in, patience wears thin, and the employee is left wondering why three carts are MIA. It’s a lose-lose situation for everyone but those six golfers who “are just having fun, and not hurting anyone.”And of course the sixsome will always insist that no one is behind them, so they’re not hurting anyone. But guess what? That group a few holes back notices you, and the golf course staff gets to hear it when those people then request to golf as a sixsome, and are told, no. It’s a never ending circle of frustration.   

Please, next time there are six of you, and you want to have a great time together, and you can’t fathom not all being connected? Go bowling, go to a driving range, or better yet just go to the bar. They will gladly sit a table of six. Save golfing for another day. Everyone thanks you!

By Heidi McCrary. Follow Heidi on Facebook. Her novel, Chasing North Star is available locally and online wherever books are sold.