My Chaotic Calm: The Many Moods of a Simple Woman

I’m a simple woman. On a deeper level, I’m a confused simple woman. On bright days, I’m a laid-back, confused simple woman. On the other side of those days, I’m an angry, explosive simple woman. A simple woman whose morning was ruined by the smell of horrendous, sweaty man’s armpit. She had humbly just walked out of her apartment building when this man jogged from the other side of the road. After passing her spot by 10 meters, his unwashed, sweaty armpit smell lingered. She gagged, literally.

I’m a simple woman. I want a simple life, simple day-to-day routines, simple food. I give simple answers and provide simple gateways for people to interact with me. I’m a simple woman who sometimes lets other people’s stupidity and crimes punish her just because she hates conflict and avoids complicated situations. But lately, I find that it’s okay to say what you want to say, no matter what it might sound like or how others might react to it.

Keeping it Simple: From My Closet to My Words

I’m a simple woman. My go-to outfit is a pair of light-colored jeans paired with a plaid shirt with an earthy color palette. A simple woman who never looks twice in the mirror checking on her appearance because it’s just that, but when people around her are looking nice she would graciously give them her compliment because it’s a simple formula in human interaction, she believes.

I’m a simple woman. Tiny things could make me happy just as much as the slightest dumb behavior people shown could give me certain level of anger. A simple woman whose cigarette break became totally joyful just by the presence of tiny butterfly that land on her lap and stayed there for a couple of minutes. A simple woman whose her way back to the working station after the break made the joy she had, ruined by a little anger she felt when some people have the audacity to talk annoyingly loud inside the elevator.

I’m a simple woman. You show me a slightest respect, l might feel like I owe you everything and probably going to do everything to make you feel good when you’re around me. A simple woman who can turn red by just the mention of your name because the amount of hatred, disgust, and anger she has because of your existence is unbearable if you managed to do something ignorance, stupid, cruel, mean, and anything but nice. I’m a simple woman. If I’m not a talker enough around you, take notes that I might hate your gut and I don’t feel comfortable enough to share even a small part of me to your face, it might mean that I just don’t trust you.

I’m a simple woman, so simple that my face can’t hide the facial gesture expressing how I feel. No matter how hard she tried to keep it to herself, this simple woman’s feeling was always shown obviously by the number of lines in her forehead, by the dim light in her eyes, or the burning anger that changed the intensity of her stares.

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The Rant of a Simple Woman in a World Gone Mad

But what’s the point of all this simplicity if the world around us is a mess? That’s when it hits me, now I’m just a simple woman who now finds it hard not to sarcastically laugh at someone’s statement just because it was a stupid, fake, total lie, and just so untrue thing.

But I’m still a simple woman. I can’t stop telling you this, nor will I stop screaming it on top of my lungs to the world however complicated and messy it gets. I’m just a simple one, so simple that it all makes sense to me now in the simplest way possible of why I was so full of rage lately. For the sake of simplicity, let me tell you that it’s so normal and simple to understand why people like me feel angry, because if the fakeness, the cruel toxicity, the tantrum-inducing environment and systemic error keeps on being fed to you every day, who wouldn’t?

Oh, I’m such a simple woman living in a simple world and by simple, I mean; there are places where the system makes true winners running on the hamster wheel. And those simplicity is not as simple to digest.

That simple unwritten rule, is not as simple to accept.

But in life it’s always just as simple as Toda Mariko in Shogun always said;We live and we die, we control nothing beyond that.

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