A few weeks ago the husband and I traded in the dually and got a different truck. It was getting close to time and he used the let's just go look line on me. Of course, we all know what that means and how it works out. So now we have a new truck and the accessory shopping and learning all the upgrades has begun.

Running boards had to be first. Simple but necessary. If not I was signing myself up for a hip replacement. Let me reserve my spot on the patient waiting list because I could hear my bad hip laughing as it waved the finger at me. Even the good hip groaned like girl you do realize how old we are, right? We can still do this, but how about let's not? Yeah, running boards were first. Ordered online and installed in the driveway, check one item off the list. The boards were a great excuse to pick up some tools just to make sure I could still install things. The husband gets a kick out of it……sometimes. The neighbors like to stand and watch. I can't explain it, but, if you're going gawk at me, don't be surprised if you end up being the one who hands me the tools.

Talks of a bed cover are underway. The choices have been narrowed down into two or three options. Floor mats and the cold air intake are on the list. For the most part, the hubby and I are on the same page about accessories. We haven't entered into hostage negotiation tactics but truck parts usually bring out a lively discussion in our house. Since it is our shared vehicle, bargaining is like negotiating peace in the sovereign nation of our house. If you can stay within budget and get most of the features we want peace will reign supreme. If not, it could get dicey.

I haven't gotten used to the whole no key thing. When we get out it is always do I have the keys, do you have the keys, where the $#@” are the keys? Yeah, it's a thing. I’ve gotten beeped at more times than I can count because I've angered the truck over key-related incidents. I'm sure I'll get used to it but for the love of god what was wrong with putting the key in the ignition? Never had to play find the key before you got out because you always knew right where it was. I can foresee a AAA membership in my future just for all the I locked my keys in the truck incidents.

The new truck has more bells and whoo-whoos than I care to mess with. The husband loves all the gadgetry. I’m a plain Jane put-the-key-in-and-roll kind of girl. As long as it fires up and the radio works life is good. The Margaritaville radio channel may become a must for the hubby. I had no idea I married a parrot head until satellite radio entered our lives a few trucks ago.


One gadget I will admit to loving is Bluetooth. In the interest of survival, I will no longer be using that feature. As someone who travels a lot, that was the one thing I used constantly. Directions or talking on the phone while I drive has come to an end when my phone is linked to the truck. Does anyone else have Apple CarPlay? I swear it has turned into a version of Darwinism. Only people in cooler climates will survive using this “helpful service”. Who got the ingenious idea to turn off the air conditioning when the directions came on or a call came in? Are you kidding me? We are currently on the preheat setting for a summer oven that is three floors below balmy hell degrees. Now is not the time to mess with the air conditioner for any reason.

I understand it is supposed to be a safety feature. But is it really? I'm sure someone in Apple tech land can hit two buttons and fix this. For the love of all that is holy please find someone to hit those two buttons. Let the cool air blow and turn the volume for the directions up. If not, it doesn't matter if it tells me to turn left or right because I’m currently having a heat stroke after being stuck in a sweltering vehicle under a sun that surpassed angry two months ago. Sweat dripping into your eyes is the least of your concerns when the real heat hits. Boiling lava can happily ride beside you without catching a chill while visions of being stuck inside a tanning bed on the surface of the sun assault you when this thing shuts off. To the person who decided to turn off the AC to hear the carplay better, I invite you to come to the South and use your brainchild all summer long. May the odds ever be in your favor.

I suppose it is a good thing we are a house divided when it comes to tech brands. I'm the only Apple user. Android does not have this taste of death through broiling feature. It has tipped the scales of accessories in his favor. No, I don't care what the bed cover looks like as long as we can use your phone to play directions. Funny how cool air changes your outlook when your shoes stick to the pavement. However, I see your Margaritaville channel and raise you an upgraded floor mat of my choice. Always something to keep it interesting.