Starlight Express review – 6/7/2024
Disclaimer: There are spoilers regarding the changes to the show here. Read no further if you don’t want to know.

Context is important. What you need to know is that in my mid to late teens, I lived and breathed this show. My brother took me to see it on my 14th birthday and I used up all my post office savings to pay for four more tickets over the next few months. That was about the time I discovered the joy of paying £2 for a student standing ticket at the back of the stalls. I then proceeded to see the original iteration of the show 84 more times. Don’t judge me.

So while other people my age from school were spending their Saturdays mooching around town, doing teenage girl things, I would get on the train to Victoria station and spend hours sitting on the theatre steps on the Vauxhall Bridge Road entrance waiting for opening. I made friends in that queue: people who would come every week, who I got to know, whose interests aligned with my own. The staff knew us, the cast knew us – I made lifelong friends out of those days. They were happy times. Starlight Express was my happy place and maybe more importantly, a safe place where I wasn’t afraid to be myself, a place where people didn’t bully or tease me in my capacity as the shy, awkward kid that I was (I mean, I’m still two of those three things, let’s be fair).

So that’s the context in a nutshell. StEx was the first professional theatre production I ever saw and at 14 years old, that was a pretty high bar. It was a spectacle that blew me away with its set design, up-tempo numbers, gentle humour and sheer daring. As the years went by and I made the inexorable slide towards the grand old age of 17, life took over and the visits decreased and dwindled until at the age of 19, I moved away from the South East and that, I assumed, was that.

My brother and I got tickets to see the revamped version somewhere in the early 90s and I was content that my time for the show was over. I managed to wrap up my number of times seeing it to a lovely 90. Disappointed I never made my 100, StEx became a Thing That Happened When I Was Young.

When its closure was announced, I felt a pang of genuine sorrow. That Thing That Happened When I Was Young had shaped me in a certain way and the world felt sadder for its passing. (Yes, I know it’s been running in Bochum since the dawn of time, but I’ve still never had the chance to see that version. I must rectify this post-haste).

Then, last year, the revival was announced. Follow the chain of emotions very closely, because this happened very quickly in real time.

Well, that’ll be rubbish.

I don’t care about that.

Still, it’s nice that it’s being revived. Lucky new generation.

I still don’t care about that.

But it’s been so long and it meant so much to me.

Shut up, inner self, I don’t care.

You do.

No I don’t.

You do, and I won’t stop until you…

Hey, Big Brother, look at this.

Happy Christmas, little sister, I’ve got us tickets to go see Starlight Express in July 2024!

Told you. Nobody can do it like a steam train!

Choo choo, motherfucker.

And so it was that I found myself outside the Troubadour Theatre at Wembley Park on Saturday, 6th July 2024 for the matinee performance of the revamped and reborn version of Starlight Express. Some further context required:

A friend and former cast member had seen the show while it was still in previews and provided me with some very entertaining voice notes on his feelings. As a direct result of this, I decided to lower my expectations of what I was going to see. Expect nothing, kids, and you’ll never be disappointed.

The theatre lobby was… some sort of clash or other. I have no idea what they were going for, but it was campy kitsch. Which may be what they were going for, in which case, hooray! There were disco balls and neon everywhere, but there was still a strange sense that it was a converted warehouse. I peered myopically at the merchandising list and gave a little half-shrug. It was expensive, but so is everything, but there was very, very little in terms of choice. The show logo or ‘Nobody Can Do It Like a Steam Train’ and that was pretty much it. (Note: post-show, if they’d had any Hydra-related merch, I’d have been all over it like a rash – a t-shirt or hoodie with Hydra’s riff line on it would have been sweet).

Merchandise thus not purchased (it’s all available on-line anyway, so why queue?), we proceeded into the auditorium and my brain immediately registered a series of things.

1. Holy shit, this place is TINY. (For comparison purposes, please see pictures below of the original lower-level layout of the Apollo Victoria set and the new one).

2. Hah, more neon, that’s cool. Who doesn’t love neon?

3.  No, I mean, really small. How is this going to work in this space? Are the cast all miniaturised in some way? Like the tiny food that Iceland produces at Christmas? Small. S. M. All.

4. It looks super modern, though, and I kind of like that.

5. Tiny.

We took our seats and enjoyed looking at the (small) set while people filtered in. I’ve heard/read somewhere that the theatre is about a 1,000 capacity auditorium, but it felt really intimate. This is not a bad thing.

Finally, the lights dimmed and the music blared out those achingly familiar notes of the Overture and all of a sudden, I didn’t care about anything except the music. I’d been made aware of the fact that a Small Child was on stage for much of the show as actual Control and this Small Child was present now. My immediate (and lasting) impressions were that the concept of having Control as a visible thing was acceptable, but it might have been nicer if the Small Child had done a lot less shouting into their microphone and had actually been given some guidance in articulation – or at least the sound mixers should do something with him. We could barely understand him at times because his treble was so high it was like those devices they install in shop entrances to deter surly teenagers. Nonetheless, he was cute and whatever and the Overture gave me old-fashioned goosebumps. So let’s get into the important elements.

Firstly, let’s talk about the set and costume design.

The set was extremely compact and what they’ve achieved with this minimal space is pretty cool. For me, an alumni of the original, the ‘races’ were not that exciting, consisting mostly as they did of people scooching back and forward and up a single ramp. However, they made a concerted effort to provide structure through the narrative of Control. At least, I assume they did given that we couldn’t understand a muffled word of the commentary and had to rely on the convenient video screens to even remotely follow along. The set design let down this critical element of the show, I’m not going to lie.

However, in terms of utilising the available space, the choreography was nicely done, some of the set elements were beautifully implemented and the way the entire auditorium lit up during the Starlight Sequence brought genuine tears to my eyes (see: nostalgia). It was simple, but effective, so yes. The set was OK, largely fit for purpose, but was a massive step down from what made the original so innovative.

The costumes… well, I’m split down the middle here. I loved how colourful everything was. I liked how Greaseball and Slick had similar colour schemes. I liked the sleek electric component design. But it all felt a bit… last year of theatre costume design project in places. I loved the cast member playing Electra, but I did not like the new Electra look. I’m not sure what the point of the inflatable elements during ‘AC/DC’ were, for example. It felt a bit like someone going ‘WE NEED MORE GAGA’. For me, the original Electra design was just too iconic.

I did like that the costumes for the coaches were more individual and less ‘tiny skirt in a different colour’. (Also, I prefer Pearl’s purple tones to pink, not gonna lie). Rusty was definitely more orange than he should have been: a more muted tone would have gone down well here. One of the racing locomotives looked like a can of Irn Bru and I kept mixing one of them up with Hydra because their costumes were so identical in colour.

Then there was the revamped story. Characters were taken out, new characters were brought in, the story (not that it ever really had a story as such) was altered a little. Songs that were in the original version and removed for the first revamp made a reappearance in a new guise, sung by a new character… there was enough new content to make it a whole new Starlight Express while still retaining some of the original. (If they’d dropped ‘Rolling Stock’, for example, I think my brother would have got up and left). The new songs are, for the most part, pretty good: catchy and socially relevant in a not in-your-face way.

The new characters, particularly in terms of the freight trains and carriages, are a trimmed-down version of the original. Pearl and Dinah get to remain, but Ashley and Buffy are history. Instead, we have a return of Belle the Sleeping Car and a new character, the Quiet Coach. But you know what? Whatever. It’s the changes to the freight line-up that has the biggest impact. CB went in the original revamp The Rockies are out. Flat-Top is gone. Dustin? Shmustin.

The whole lot has been changed. Now, we have fuel tankers/loads. Wood, coal, oil and hydrogen. Slick and Hydra are the stand-outs, with Porter and Lumber basically being pointless. Slick (the oil tanker) becomes the villain that CB once was, while Hydra picks up the slack left by dropping the big hopper. Again, it was a startling change, but nothing jarring about it.

The foreign trains seem to have been replaced with random Other Trains. I’d elaborate, but again, because of the sound mix on the Small Child’s vocals, he may as well have been shrieking ‘A HAMSTER, SOME CHEESE BOARDS, A BANANA ON A MOTORBIKE’ during their introductions. It was only when the races started and their names appeared on the video screen that I was clued in. So yeah, the countries element seems to have been ditched, although they still retain the right (as indeed they should) to mock the UK rail system with sly digs at the British train. Greaseball, however, is still introduced as the Union Pacific.

Which… given that every single person in this version of the show speaks with extremely British accents seems… a bit misplaced. Also, Dinah (while brilliant portrayed by the cast member) sounded borderline bonkers when singing U.N.C.O.U.P.L.E.D – it worked as a country pastiche when being sung by someone with an OTT accent, but it seemed to fall a bit flat here.

On the whole, though, the changes are fine. What will probably upset some people with their memories of the original staging are the gender swaps. We have a female Greaseball (more on that later). Slick is female. Electra’s components are (I reckon deliberately) styled in an identical, androgynous way. Electra is referred to throughout as ‘they/them’. For me, it’s fine. It doesn’t matter. A key thing to remember about the characters in this musical is this.

They. Are. Locomotives. And. Carriages.

If gender swapping in this context upsets you, then give your head a wobble. Because it doesn’t matter. What matters is if the part is well played and well sung. Which brings me onto…

The performances.

I’ve seen a lot of people dismissively say ‘oh, this is a young cast’, or ‘so many of them are making their professional debuts’. Well, to those people, I say ‘do you not know how young the original cast were?’ Yes, they are young, but they were almost universally excellent.

Greaseball during this performance was understudied by Lara Vina Uzcatia and given that the show has only officially been open for a short time, it must have been a lot of pressure. However, she settled some of my concerns about whether a female Greaseball would work. Her voice was not the strongest – there may have been nerves involved – but her swagger was most definitely there, so kudos for that.

Particular shout-outs to Jeevan Braich as Rusty, whose sweet manner and beautiful voice have brought new life to this character. He was just adorable and that’s what you want in an underdog. Jade Marvin, as Momma was the heart and soul of the piece and Braich and Marvin’s duet during the ‘Starlight Sequence’ was everything I had hoped for.

Jaydon Vijn as Hydra was also worthy of mention. I liked his blend of Dustin-esque innocence and cocky self-assurance of being the future.

Emily Martinez was great as the villainous Slick and gets big points from me for breathing new life into the role once taken by CB.

A thing I want to mention here is my admiration for the cast members who caught eye contact with some of the young children in the audience – all of whom were fully spellbound – and made damn sure to interact with them with sly winks and little waves. It was lovely to see that and those children will remember that forever.

So let’s talk about overall. I’m even going to give it a rating.

When I came out of the theatre, I was smiling. I had a good time. There were a handful of times during the performance (notably during the ‘Starlight Sequence’) when I genuinely felt myself choking up with nostalgia and the fact the show achieved an emotional reaction from me suggests that I enjoyed it. I’ve given myself a few days to sort out the nostalgia from the reality and here’s the bottom line.

Starlight Express is a fun piece of immersive theatre, with a thumping soundtrack that deserves to be seen by anybody who wants to detach from reality for a couple of hours. Is it perfect? No. But neither was the original. Is it fun? Absolutely. Is it the best musical you’re ever going to see in your entire life? No. Does that matter? Also no. Would I go and see it again? Yes. I absolutely would. Would I recommend it? Yes, with the caveat that you aren’t expecting something mind-blowing. Go see the show – particularly if you’ve got kids.

So what would you rate it out of 5, Sarah? Well, having contemplated this I’d rate it at around 3 stars. I am acutely aware that my attachment to the show could have given it a higher rating and I’m prepared to step beyond that. I think it has room for improvement: the cast are still in their early days and there were some moments that felt confused or forced. That may improve with time and increased confidence.

Let’s just say it’s not a matter of if, it’s a matter of when.

If you know, you know.

If you don’t, trust me, if you go and see this. You’ll know.