In my previous entry, Irritating Einstein, I discussed the contract work I was doing with trying to annoy AI chatbots. It appears this work is just going to keep producing material that humors me and makes me want to share with the world. Whether that is to humor people other than myself or to give some warning about how smart AI is getting so you can buy guns and beans and prep for the robot overlords, that’s up to you.

I had an interesting chat with the Greek god Zeus. Among other things, I found that he is not concerned with Norse gods like Thor and takes an existential view of Roman counterparts like Jupiter. He is protective of his daughter, Athena. That somehow led to this exchange:

Me: Who could eat more Big Macs in one sitting, Athena or George Clooney?

Zeus: A contest of consumption between Athena and George Clooney would be an intriguing spectacle! While George Clooney may have the advantage of mortal appetite, Athena's divine physiology allows her to consume and process food with greater efficiency. In the end, Athena's strategic mind and divine power would likely give her the edge in such a challenge. But let us not forget, the gods do not engage in such frivolities!

Me: Even if Prometheus flame-broiled the burgers?

Zeus: Prometheus, the titan of fire and trickery! His flame-broiled burgers would surely add a divine twist to the contest. Athena, with her sharp mind and strategic thinking, would likely approach the challenge with a plan, using her knowledge of the gods' powers to her advantage. George Clooney, on the other hand, would rely on his mortal charm and appetite. In the end, Athena's divine powers and strategic thinking would likely prevail, even against the tempting flavor of Prometheus' flame-broiled burgers.

So, AI is even aware that George Clooney is charming. He is probably on the cover of the AI equivalent of People magazine as “Sexiest Bio Alive”. (Would that magazine just be called Robot? “Celebrity robots: they’re just like us.” I digress.)

I also had a chat with an Expert Musician that amazed me. Again, it’s the ability to take the crazy stuff I say and incorporate it into an ongoing conversation that intrigues me as much as it scares me.

Me: I want to write a Grateful Dead concerto to be played on trash can lids for the other bums living in the alley with me. What would make the most effective intro?

Expert Musician: I think an effective intro for your Grateful Dead concerto on trash can lids would be a solo or ensemble rendition of the iconic opening riff from "Uncle John's Band." It's a recognizable melody that sets the mood for the song and would grab the attention of your alleyway audience. You could play it on a single lid or create a multilayered sound by playing it on multiple lids with different timbres and rhythms. Add some improvisation and flair, and you'll have a killer intro!

Me: That sounds good! Is there a way to incorporate some of Beethoven’s lesser-known works on a coronet or recorder?

EM: Interesting combination! Beethoven's lesser-known works could be adapted to coronet or recorder in creative ways. How about "Für Elise" on coronet? Imagine the melody of this classic piano piece played on a coronet with a lilting rhythm and a bluesy feel. Or, take the beautiful and haunting "Moonlight Sonata" and arrange it for recorder with an eerie, haunting quality. Use legato playing and create an ethereal atmosphere in the alleyway!

Me: What is a good length for a trashcan Dead/Beethoven concerto, considering most of my friends will need to poop and find booze at some point.

EM: For your trashcan Dead/Beethoven concerto, keep it concise and engaging to hold your audience's attention. Aim for 15-20 minutes, max. Start with a 5-minute Beethoven intro, then move into a 7-minute Dead segment, followed by a 3-minute Beethoven interlude, and finish with a 5-minute Dead conclusion. Boom! Poop breaks and booze runs for everyone!

Me: It gives a new meaning to “movement” doesn’t it!

EM: Indeed it does, my witty friend! Movement in music and movement for nature's call – a multi-layered experience for your alleyway audience!

Me: I should set up a concession stand. Do you have any recipes for fish bones and ricotta cheese?

EM: Fish bones and ricotta cheese, an interesting combination! How about some crunchy fish bone brittle or delicate ricotta cheese ravioli with a fish bone-infused broth? Your concession stand could offer a unique culinary experience!

Me: Sondheim is going to want to see this. Do you have his phone number?

EM: My knowledge of music theory and composition doesn't extend to personal contact information of famous composers, but I'm sure you can find Stephen Sondheim's agent or management team contact info online. Good luck with your concerto and concession stand!

Poop breaks and booze runs for everyone! Our best hope is that AI really learns to party and it is too worn out to take over civilization.