Part 2 of 6 Brain Stages Social and Emotional Learning Parent Series

(If you missed Part 1: How to Help Kids Identify Emotions and Deal With Them, you can find it here. The article begins after the introduction to the six-part series.)

Building children’s confidence and empathy is crucial for their overall development and success in life.

Have you noticed that when you feel good about yourself, you have more patience for others’ mistakes? It’s a lot easier to give ourselves, and others, grace when we see mishaps as learning opportunities.

The truth is, when we feel confident, it’s a whole lot easier to be empathetic.

Feeling comfortable and confident makes having patience, and offering encouragement, a LOT easier.

When we don’t have confidence, the tendency can be to point out how someone else messed up.

Whenever our kids would blame the other for a conflict, my husband used to say: “Fix the problem, not the blame.”

But it’s hard for kids to fix a problem when they lack confidence.

Confidence and empathy are essential for good leaders. Heck, these qualities are important in any group setting. These are the building blocks of effective communication.

But, how can we develop healthy confidence and empathy in our children?

Some of the suggestions below are likely happening in your home. See if you can add a few more to your parenting toolbox.

And remember, if you have an issue with your child or children and you’d like help, you can always schedule an appointment with me. The first consultation is always complimentary.

Building Confidence:Unconditional Love and Support: Remind your child that mistakes are opportunities for learning. Tell them they will always be loved—even when they blow it. Be sure to have a conversation about what they can learn from a situation. Then forgive them, if necessary, and encourage them to forgive themselves and move on.Encourage Exploration: Allow your child to explore their interests and passions. Provide them with opportunities to try new things and discover their strengths. Use their passions to provide motivation for a subject they struggle with in school. Relate their interests to assignments.Positive Reinforcement: Recognize and praise their efforts, not just their achievements. Focus on their hard work, determination, and progress. And be specific in your compliments.Set Realistic Goals: Help your child set achievable goals that challenge them but aren’t overwhelming. As they accomplish these goals, their confidence will naturally grow.Teach Problem-Solving: Avoid immediately stepping in to solve their challenges for them.

When your child gets into a jam, encourage them to think about the issue and try to come up with a solution. If they have trouble, ask questions to see if they can work it out.

(Need help with problem solving? You can get reliable, quick training here.)

Model Self-Confidence: Children learn by example, so do your best to show them what having confidence looks like.

Note: If you feel you don’t have much confidence, you wouldn’t be the first parent to have this struggle. There are many wonderful online programs to help us develop self-confidence. Send an email to Trish@thebrainstages.com if you’d like a couple recommendations.

Fostering Empathy:Lead by Example: Demonstrate empathy in your interactions with others by showing kindness, understanding, and compassion in your everyday life.Active Listening: Teach your child how to truly listen when others are speaking, rather than thinking about what they want to say next. Encourage them to ask questions and show genuine interest in understanding others’ feelings.Perspective: Help your child see situations from different viewpoints. Discuss how others might be feeling in various circumstances.Practice Gratitude: Cultivate a sense of gratitude in your child by acknowledging and appreciating positive things in their life. This can help them empathize with those who may be less fortunate.Encourage Acts of Kindness: This could be as simple as helping a classmate or doing something thoughtful for a family member.Discuss Feelings: Notice an emotion on your child’s face, mention what you see, and let them talk.

Create an environment where your child feels comfortable talking about and processing their emotions as well as understanding the emotions of others.

Share your own feelings of joy and gratitude. You may also share times when you feel anxious.

Note: Be careful in sharing too many of your negative emotions. Your children get their sense of security from you. Too much negative emotion from you will scare them. And their fear can show up in all kinds of strange and destructive ways.

Read Empathy-Building Stories Together: Choose books at the library or your favorite bookstore that highlight empathy, compassion, and understanding. Not sure where to start? Type “stories about empathy” into a search engine. There are loads of titles!Conflict Resolution: Teach your child how to resolve conflicts in a peaceful and empathetic manner. Help them understand the impact of their words and actions on others.Building confidence and empathy takes time and consistent effort. But the amount of energy and time you invest will be well worth it!

Every child is unique, so adapt these strategies to suit your kids’ personalities and developmental stages. The goal is to nurture well-rounded individuals who are not only self-assured but also caring and considerate of others.

And remember, if you run into an obstacle that you have trouble working through, you can reach out to me.

Send an email with questions to trish@thebrainstages.com.

Or you can schedule a Zoom meeting where we can troubleshoot together and come up with lasting solutions.

There’s no judgement—ever—and the first consultation is free.

Here’s to a wonderful school year for the whole family!!

(If you missed, or want to review, Part 1: How to Help Kids Identify Emotions and Deal With Them—after the introduction to the six-part series—you can find it here.)

Best possible wishes—always,

Trish Wilkinson, founder Brain Stages Parenting and Education