It’s been said at many awriting workshop that we should be willing to write the unconscionable. Givingthe subconscious free rein upon the page, whether its violence, sex, cruelty ordepravity. The thinking being that no one else has to see what was written or,should we feel so inclined, we can publish and risk being damned.

 

That’s all well and goodwhen it comes to exorcising our creative demons but what about when we’rewriting to order? I recently applied for a writing opportunity that I knewwould challenge my view of the sort of writer I am. Sometimes it’s good to takea step into the unknown. Sometimes…

 

The project wanted humour materialabout the crisis in the Middle East. You know the one I’m talking about. Theclients want to use humour to promote peace at a ground level, rather thanrelying on leaders to do the right thing.

 

I get it. Humour is, afterall, a great way to unite people and to approach difficult subjects diagonally.Bringing in different perspectives to highlight similarities, differences andincongruities.

 

Against that backdrop Iapproached this assignment as I would any other. I met the clients online anddid my research in order to prepare an original pitch. We chatted, I threw insome ideas…they threw them back or stared blankly at me.

 

It became clear one of theclients wanted hard-hitting humour slanted in one direction only, at leastinitially, which did not sit well with me. After further discussion andreceiving some suggestions I put pen to paper.

 

I decided to write exactlywhat I wanted, rather than working to any brief. A sort of litmus test to seeif we were on the same page (you’re welcome). They could use the piece and payfor it or decline it as they saw fit. Turns out they didn’t get the joke.

 

Here’s the sample piece. Read on atyour own discretion.

 

 

What The Frick Is TheProblem In Gaza?

(Political History for Dummies)

 

Let's start at thebeginning. G*d** said...

 

Okay then, not at the very, verybeginning.

 

Who's to blame for thecultural beef in Israel / Palestine? The British, obviously. Every Disneyanimated movie should have prepared us for that.

 

A little history lesson

After the collapse of theOttoman Empire (who knew furniture could be so dangerous?) the Council of theLeague of Nations - so good they named it once - took Palestine andasked the Brits out on a mandate, 'it being clearly understood that nothingshould be done which might prejudice the civil and religious rights of existingnon-Jewish communities in Palestine, or the rights and political status enjoyedby Jews in any other country'.

 

Simpler times, right? Therewas also the Emirate of Transjordan, which was not necessarily as progressiveas the name now implies.

 

It's fair to say that theBritish were not universally appreciated as landlords of a land that wasnothing to do with them (but when did that ever stop them?). They sought tolimit the number of Jewish people settling in Israel and Zionist paramilitarygroups formed to enter into political discourse with them, via the medium ofassassinations and bombings. 

 

Of course, as the Britishthriller writer Gerald Seymour pointed out: "one person's terrorist isanother person's freedom fighter". The Brits eventually gave up and someof those Israeli freedomists were absorbed into the IDF or took office ingovernment.

 

The rest, as they say, ishistory. But if you ever wondered whether G*d has a sense of humor, considerthis: 

Lehi, one of theparamilitary organisations during those turbulent times, had a weeklypublication called Hamaas. If nothing else, it reminds us of the importance ofspelling.

 

 

** Other G*ds are available.There's like a whole bunch of them.

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