Feeling low
I'm feeling glum.
This week alone, I've...tried sorting out the issues to transfer my website (and failed again, for the upteenth time)signed up for a new accountant to sort my taxesdid lots of work and job interviews, including the worst interview I've ever experienced where I actually felt worse about myself afterwards (they were quite negative, borderline rude and really wanted to drill down into why my previous employer didn't renew my contract again).
Only for:my family's accountant who only acknowledges my existence if my father is cc'd (even though the accountant is my age) actually respond and is willing to do my taxesa colleague at work who I've been very kind and supportive to as she's dealt with family issues the past few months, reveal that she doesn't like Americans, only the educated ones (and I suppose I'm okay)Didn't get an award I'd been so kindly nominated for. Winning isn't a big deal at this point, just being nominated is huge. But I'd been obsessively checking their website for ages and eventually stopped, and they haven't posted a longlist or shortlist, so I can't even post or link to that. At this point it would just be hearsay, so it's left me feeling sad.My hair keeps thinning. Used a hair mask, washed hair for a long time but didn't get it all out and my hair is stickyI've gained weight and can't seem to lose it, despite getting exercise and eating healthy. The weather is finally warm enough for me to wear my favourite goth sundress and when I put it on, my boobs were too big and it looked horrible. I shouldn't be this big and yet I am. Lots of my lovely summer clothes won't fit me now and it's enough to make me cry.The only thing I can think of to do to shed pounds is to be like Emily's character from The Devil Wears Prada and not eat anything, then when I think I might faint, eat a cube of cheese. Or in my case, coffee, no sugar.And my novel is due in 11 days and I've hit a point near the end where I'm simply bored of it. I feel blah. At this point I need to be polishing and editing to make it the most beautiful version possible. But I'm just not there, and don't want to once again have to ask my publisher for an extension. I don't want to be that author. I want to be the author who is great about deadlines and turns in quality work on time.
This week alone, I've...tried sorting out the issues to transfer my website (and failed again, for the upteenth time)signed up for a new accountant to sort my taxesdid lots of work and job interviews, including the worst interview I've ever experienced where I actually felt worse about myself afterwards (they were quite negative, borderline rude and really wanted to drill down into why my previous employer didn't renew my contract again).
Only for:my family's accountant who only acknowledges my existence if my father is cc'd (even though the accountant is my age) actually respond and is willing to do my taxesa colleague at work who I've been very kind and supportive to as she's dealt with family issues the past few months, reveal that she doesn't like Americans, only the educated ones (and I suppose I'm okay)Didn't get an award I'd been so kindly nominated for. Winning isn't a big deal at this point, just being nominated is huge. But I'd been obsessively checking their website for ages and eventually stopped, and they haven't posted a longlist or shortlist, so I can't even post or link to that. At this point it would just be hearsay, so it's left me feeling sad.My hair keeps thinning. Used a hair mask, washed hair for a long time but didn't get it all out and my hair is stickyI've gained weight and can't seem to lose it, despite getting exercise and eating healthy. The weather is finally warm enough for me to wear my favourite goth sundress and when I put it on, my boobs were too big and it looked horrible. I shouldn't be this big and yet I am. Lots of my lovely summer clothes won't fit me now and it's enough to make me cry.The only thing I can think of to do to shed pounds is to be like Emily's character from The Devil Wears Prada and not eat anything, then when I think I might faint, eat a cube of cheese. Or in my case, coffee, no sugar.And my novel is due in 11 days and I've hit a point near the end where I'm simply bored of it. I feel blah. At this point I need to be polishing and editing to make it the most beautiful version possible. But I'm just not there, and don't want to once again have to ask my publisher for an extension. I don't want to be that author. I want to be the author who is great about deadlines and turns in quality work on time.
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