A Fishy Showdown

When it comes to hiring a decorator, I’ll never forget the time Momma decided to bring in a “professional”—a Charleston decorator whose blue-blood reputation could make an oak tree feel common. Now, most Southern men love to decorate with trophy heads: deer, elk, the occasional wild turkey. But not Daddy. His taste leaned toward things with fins. Our house was practically an aquarium on dry land, with a Mako shark over the sofa, a Wahoo over the TV, a Red Snapper in the kitchen, and, reigning supreme, the massive sailfish from his trip to Acapulco greeted guests in the hallway. Daddy didn’t just decorate; he curated.

Decor with a Bite

To ensure this decorator got the full Southern experience, Momma had Tootsie whipping up her famous spiced chicken. The smell could’ve revived the dead, filling the house with aromas so powerful they put your fancy essential oils to shame.

Then came the knock—or rather, the double ding of the doorbell. In strutted Charleston royalty, a woman wrapped in a scarf so bold it was practically a shout, no doubt bought on King Street at Elza’s, and her heels—oh, those were definitely from Bob Ellis. She strolled through our humble ranch house with all the poise of someone assessing a plantation estate on Charleston’s South of Broad, murmuring and nodding, and casting little judgy glances at our decor choices.

Treasures from the Deep-Blue

Then Daddy walked in for dinner. And this esteemed decorator uttered the one phrase that could end her career on the spot: “Well, those fish have got to go.”

Daddy didn’t miss a beat. With a calm only a Southern man can pull off while inhaling red rice, Daddy said, “No, the first thing to go will be you.”

The cherry on top was Tootsie comment. “Oh, Gret Gawd. Dem fish gwine stay right on duh wall.” And you know what? They did. To this day, that mako shark and sailfish still lord over the family room, and Gawd help the poor soul who tries to move them.

1-  Stand Up for What Matters: Daddy’s fish collection wasn’t for everyone, but it mattered to him, and he didn’t let anyone tell him otherwise. Hold on to what you love, quirks and all.

2-  Stay True to Your Style: Not everything needs to be “picture-perfect.” Life’s more enjoyable when you surround yourself with things that bring you joy, not just things that fit others’ expectations.

3-  Family Traditions Are Priceless: The scent of Tootsie’s fried chicken and Red Rice filled the house, making memories stronger than any decor ever could. 

Family, food and fun are at the heart of the best memories.

Jane Jenkins Herlong went from farm fields to fame as a Sirius XM Humorist and best-selling author, sharing the stage with Jeff Foxworthy and Jerry Seinfeld. Her five award-winning Southern-fried books include “Sweet Tea Secrets from the Deep-Fried South,” now at Cracker Barrel. Speaker Hall of Fame inductee, Jane overcame dyslexia by turning “NOs” into “NEXTs” with humor. Featured on Sirius XM, Pandora, and Spotify, she speaks English, Southern, Northern, and Lowcountry Gullah. 

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