Where I’m at: Tuesday night I slept fitfully after staying up until all hope was just about gone. My mind began playing a loop of worst-case scenarios for the future. I slow-walked through Wednesday in a fog because, while I knew this outcome was a possibility, I had never allowed myself to imagine it as reality. Now I have no choice.

The first step to easing anxiety is acceptance, difficult as it may be. I’ve been here before. I’ve had to accept unimaginably hard things. I remind myself that I know how to do this.

All of us are shaking our heads, wanting an explanation for how this could have happened. But that’s analyzing the past. There’s a time for this analysis, but first we need to be in a state of calm.

I’m not there yet. I’m working on it.

My mind is still looping because of fear. Fear of the unknown to come is probably the hardest emotion to wrangle, but it must be contained so that I don’t spiral out of control and make myself sick with worry. I know many people are struggling with this right now. I see you. I am you.

We will need to make plans for how to deal with what is coming, but first we need to be in a state of calm.

I’m not there yet. I’m working on it.

I remind myself that I am one ordinary person with limited resources, limited power. There is only so much I alone can do. There is more that we can do together. In time.

For now, my task is to breathe. To just breathe. In and out.

When the looping in my brain begins, I must stop and breathe. In and out. I must go outside, notice the sky, notice the trees, and breathe. I must tend to the necessary tasks of the day, and breathe.

Those of us with quick-firing trauma-induced danger response systems are having a very bad week. We cannot dissect the past or turn toward the future without first taking a break from it all and restoring a calm nervous system. I cannot watch the news right now. I must limit the noise I take in from the world. I must retreat for a while in order to calm down. To breathe.

Just breathe.

That’s all that’s required right now. Just breathe.