A little note before the today’s post: Make sure you read to the end because I have several fun gifts for you, including a free mini ebook for the holidays! Friends don’t let friends miss out on goodies.

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Years ago I sat in a crowded room at a blogging conference. I’ve forgotten almost everything from that weekend except one phrase that author and researcher Brené Brown said from the stage, “Joy is the most vulnerable emotion we can feel.”

I had two thoughts when I heard these words: “What?” and “Exactly.”

The first reaction came because we tend to think of joy as an “easy” emotion. It’s not heavy like sadness or intense like anger. Joy is the floating balloon, the cotton candy, the confetti of our feelings. But that is a false perception. It turns out joy takes great courage.

Why? Because our brains are wired to protect us from danger. When we feel joy, we also have something to lose. Brené told Inc magazine that “80-90 percent of parents, when experiencing a moment of bliss gazing upon their sleeping child, will then picture something horrific happening to the child.”

Have you ever done something like this? You hug someone you love, and suddenly worry that they’ll get in a car wreck on their way home. You get the promotion you worked so hard for, only to feel like a fraud and picture yourself being fired. You’re finally relaxing on a beach vacation, then remember a news headline you read and feel anxious.

Joy is hard for humans, so this morning I looked up every verse about joy to look for some divine help. I found one phrase that was repeated many times, “filled with joy.”

God helps me, and my heart is filled with joy. Psalm 28:7 NLT

Jesus was filled with the joy of the Holy Spirit. Luke 10:21 NLT

The believers were filled with joy and with the Holy Spirit. Acts 13:52 NLT

May you be filled with joy. Colossians 1:11 NLT

I’d always viewed joy as something I had to produce, but “being filled” means joy is something God’s Spirit pours into me. Here’s what I’m coming to believe: We, as humans, aren’t truly capable of joy on our own. It doesn’t come naturally to us. At best, it’s fleeting and dependent on our circumstances. At worst, it’s something we fake but never truly experience.

Here’s what I’m learning: Joy is something we can ask God to fill us with rather than forcing ourselves to feel it. As someone who has experienced anxiety and depression, I’m not saying we’ll feel joy if we just have enough faith. I’m also not saying that we will always experience joy, which isn’t possible or even biblical. What I’m exploring is an alternative to putting pressure on ourselves to be happy-happy all the time. Maybe our role is simply to open ourselves to joy, to not slam the door of our hearts when it comes knocking.

Joy is also not meant to be our only emotion. Paul says, “Always be joyful” (1 Thessalonians 5:16) but he also says, “My heart is filled with bitter sorrow and unending grief” (Romans 9:2). Jesus is described as being full of joy and as being a man of sorrows. Proverbs 14:13 tells us, “Even in laughter the heart may be in pain, and the end of joy may be grief.”

As I say in my new devotional book, 365 Truths for Every Woman’s Heart, “We always live with both brokenness and blessings. Challenges and victories. Sorrow and joy. They’re all mixed up together. God understands both.”

Brené says that the practice the most joyful people have in common is gratitude. I would add one more element to gratitude, and that’s trust.

Gratitude today + trust for tomorrow = learning to bravely open the door to joy

This looks like pausing to say, “God, thank You for this beautiful sleeping baby. I trust You with her future.”

It’s hugging someone we love and saying, “God, thank You for every moment I get to have them in my life. I place them in Your hands.”

It’s accepting the promotion and saying, “God, thank You for getting me this far. I believe You’ll get me through whatever is ahead too.”

It’s standing on the beach and saying, “God, thank You for the extraordinary world You’ve created. You alone are the caretaker of everything and everyone.”

The healthiest humans are those who are able to be open to the whole range of emotions and experience all of them.

Some of us resist negative emotions. We banish sadness and anger because they’re uncomfortable. Some of us resist positive emotions. We shut down joy and happiness because they feel so vulnerable. I’m in the latter group—I can sit with grief and walk alongside sorrow. But joy? That’s scary stuff.

I’m learning joy is not a feeling to force, but a gift to receive. Opening our hearts to embrace it, especially in a broken world, takes guts and bravery. Joy isn’t a balloon, cotton candy, or confetti. It’s challenging and risky, maybe even a little crazy. It’s a wild act of worship by warriors with dents in their armor.

It’s okay if joy is hard for you to feel during the holidays. This doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you or your faith—it simply means you’re human. God understands this and He will be with you in everything you face, in every emotion you feel.

Gratefully,

Holley

Fun Gifts For You!

FREE EBOOK: If the holidays are hard or stressful for you, I have an encouraging gift to get you through this season. My mini ebook, Hope for the Holidays, includes twenty devotions, beautiful graphics, and more. Download your free copy now, then share this post so your friends and family can get this lovely gift too!

FREE AUDIOBOOK: My brand new devotional book, 365 Truths for Every Woman’s Heart will encourage you each day. And it’s a wonderful Christmas gift for the women in your life too! For a limited time or until codes run out, when you purchase a copy, you’ll also receive the audiobook for free! Fill out this form to receive audiobook access.

FREE ONLINE GROUP: This January, I’ll be leading a Facebook group through the first 30 days of 365 Truths for Every Woman’s Heart! It will only take about five minutes a day, you can wear your pajamas, and show up anytime it works for you. We’ll have giveaways, live videos, and exclusive content just for the online group. Join me! Let’s spend the first month of 2025 connecting with God and each other.

FREE PERSONALIZED GIFT LABELS: If you purchase 3 or more copies of 365 Truths for Every Woman’s Heart as gifts, I’d love to mail you a custom label for each one to place inside the front cover. (Perfect for a sweet, personalized Christmas present.) It will include the recipient’s name, a note from me, and my signature. Time is running out to get these before Christmas!

You can find out more about these opportunities at HolleyGerth.com/365!