No one asked me, but after twenty-five years of living an out-loud-and-proud butch/femme lesbian relationship, I’d like to share a few things I’ve learned with the new young wave of Sapphics identifying that way.

Femmes: Butch energy is not masculine energy, but people redefining themselves as butches may have trouble separating themselves from it until they know themselves better. If your butch treats you with any shade of toxic masculinity, call her out right then with a sardonic smile an...