We all know, you’ve got to have a hook, right? It’s a vast yet overcrowded marketplace with a bajillion books for notably less than a bajillion readers.

People are brutal these days. My dad gives a book 50 pages to convince him to read on; some people decide based on Amazon’s Look Inside preview; many more are swayed by Goodreads scoring before they’ve read the book; occasional beautiful maniacs even pick random books in a shop and read the opening pages until they find one they like enough ...