Is 'Good Enough' Good Enough
Jonathan. My inspiration for Jonathan Moore was not any one man (or woman) I know. I see a lot of him in many people. Now, in case you haven’t finished the book yet, don’t worry. This wont be a spoiler. But his character’s dilemma begs discussion. Should you ever settle?
I know. The word has a bad connotation. It somehow implies that you’ve accepted less than, that you’ve undervalued your worth, that you’ve folded your hand on the assumption the dude sitting across from you at the poker table (the one wearing the dark shades) has a better hand. Sometimes he does. Sometimes he doesn’t, but your decision to call, raise or fold is based on the unknown. Along the same vane, people date and marry based on the unknown, based on assumptions. Not just on the assumption that this person will love, honor and cherish you, but that they are the best you can do. It sounds a bit harsh, but that’s the real of it.
We all start off in life with pipe dreams of meeting that perfect someone who will complete us. The one who will measure up to all of our criteria. But as time goes on, our list gets shorter and non-negotiable become negotiable. It begins to sound something like this. He has to be tall, at least 6’2”. Soon enough you just hope that you’re not taller than him in your heels. He needs to earn six figures. Okay, okay five figures will do as long as his credit is good. Oh, and he should have an advanced degree. A few years later, you’re just happy he knows the difference between where and wear. The list goes on. One day you wake up in bed next to the guy you wouldn't even give your number to during happy hour. Why? Because your waistline is no longer 26 inches and the corner office you just knew would one day be yours is still just a spacious cubicle with a view. And, most significant of all, your eggs are running low.
So, in light of this you pare down your list and start to believe what your old Aunt Madge told you last Thanksgiving when you admitted that you were still single. “You young people are too damn picky . . . ” she chastised as you watch her husband belch and scratch himself at the dinner table.
Picky? Yes some people are just that. I was always told to think before you speak, practice what you preach and never ever throw stones in a glass house. But if you do have your house in order, do you have the right to be picky? Statistics would indicate that many people are. According to the U.S. Census Bureau only about half of the American population is currently married, compared to seventy-percent in 1960. Folks are tossing aside old Aunt Madge’s advice and waiting it out. Waiting to meet the best of the best. Yet, there are many who subscribe to the ‘she’ll / he’ll have to do’ philosophy. I hear statements like: ‘She treats me well. He’s a good person. She’ll do anything for me. He will be a good father’. And in the same way that some arranged marriages ultimately work; some of these relationships (those based more on logic than emotion) do work out in the end.
What’s your opinion? Should you stick to your guns and wait for HIM or HER or opt for the one who is good enough?
I know. The word has a bad connotation. It somehow implies that you’ve accepted less than, that you’ve undervalued your worth, that you’ve folded your hand on the assumption the dude sitting across from you at the poker table (the one wearing the dark shades) has a better hand. Sometimes he does. Sometimes he doesn’t, but your decision to call, raise or fold is based on the unknown. Along the same vane, people date and marry based on the unknown, based on assumptions. Not just on the assumption that this person will love, honor and cherish you, but that they are the best you can do. It sounds a bit harsh, but that’s the real of it.
We all start off in life with pipe dreams of meeting that perfect someone who will complete us. The one who will measure up to all of our criteria. But as time goes on, our list gets shorter and non-negotiable become negotiable. It begins to sound something like this. He has to be tall, at least 6’2”. Soon enough you just hope that you’re not taller than him in your heels. He needs to earn six figures. Okay, okay five figures will do as long as his credit is good. Oh, and he should have an advanced degree. A few years later, you’re just happy he knows the difference between where and wear. The list goes on. One day you wake up in bed next to the guy you wouldn't even give your number to during happy hour. Why? Because your waistline is no longer 26 inches and the corner office you just knew would one day be yours is still just a spacious cubicle with a view. And, most significant of all, your eggs are running low.
So, in light of this you pare down your list and start to believe what your old Aunt Madge told you last Thanksgiving when you admitted that you were still single. “You young people are too damn picky . . . ” she chastised as you watch her husband belch and scratch himself at the dinner table.
Picky? Yes some people are just that. I was always told to think before you speak, practice what you preach and never ever throw stones in a glass house. But if you do have your house in order, do you have the right to be picky? Statistics would indicate that many people are. According to the U.S. Census Bureau only about half of the American population is currently married, compared to seventy-percent in 1960. Folks are tossing aside old Aunt Madge’s advice and waiting it out. Waiting to meet the best of the best. Yet, there are many who subscribe to the ‘she’ll / he’ll have to do’ philosophy. I hear statements like: ‘She treats me well. He’s a good person. She’ll do anything for me. He will be a good father’. And in the same way that some arranged marriages ultimately work; some of these relationships (those based more on logic than emotion) do work out in the end.
What’s your opinion? Should you stick to your guns and wait for HIM or HER or opt for the one who is good enough?
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