61. Rainbow Black – Maggie Thrash

The Satanic Panic is always a draw for me and this was an extremely well done version of what it really was in terms of all those bullshit daycare allegations. Although Michelle Remembers was not mentioned here, it is in fact that book that gave rise to most of the accusations and the whole “repressed memories of Satanic Ritual Abuse” thing, even though it was just the result of one woman wanting to date her Catholic therapist and take up all of his time, which she did with invented Satanic persecution, which is gross and totally worked. Hysteria at its finest.

Anyway, the Satanic Panic is a draw for me because it makes no sense and as a metalhead, it makes even less sense. Rainbow Black, though, does make sense. The trajectory of the story is pretty realistic and sometimes that’s unfortunate and in several cases, mostly towards the beginning for me, it makes for some seriously black acid humor that made me laugh out loud. It’s not the kind of book where you’d blurb that though.

We see things through the eyes of Lacey Bond, the younger daughter of a New Hampshire couple who are unconventional in many ways and run a daycare center on their farm. They have goats. And a shed. Obviously, they’re Satanists. But at first in in reality, they’re just a weird family and Lacey is an awkward child whose sister, Eclair, is a forceful juggernaut of 80s lady power. She’s the kind of person I would not like in real life, but love in books. When she returns from Miami, she tells Lacey she looks like “Lumberjack Skipper” and always has a good insult for everyone who sucks. She also hits a lot of people with her purse in a weirdly endearing way.

After the accusations, which no one wants to tell Lacey about like she wouldn’t notice her parents were completely missing or the media at the end of the driveway, Eclair and Lacey and their lawyer come up against the true villain of the piece, Mrs. Grange. She was an awful woman from all angles and she’s not even there that much, but every time she reared her head I was like, No! Not that woman again. That’s a good antagonist. A lot of the minor characters are also very well and quickly drawn and provide some little gems. There’s one lawyer whose first priority is his dog who needs, and then gets, hip replacement surgery. The lawyer is very focused on the dog’s schedule, which I can relate to bone deep as I’ve been taking care of Thorfy with his heart failure alongside other guinea pig medical crises (not to undercut them, they’re all viscerally significant) for more than two years. Thorfy’s borrowed time is sacred and so is that imaginary dog’s surgery and recovery to the imaginary lawyer.

I really liked this book, but it was also extremely depressing. There’s no happy ending, which is realistic for what the situations were, but I really wanted something that was more than crumbs even if it didn’t make sense. Especially when I read this, which has not been a good time for me. I don’t know if you should read books that are emotionally grueling but also funny when you aren’t doing well, but I definitely wanted to read this and it was my turn on the hold list and I couldn’t renew it for an emotional break once it turned. I will definitely buy a copy at some point, hopefully signed, as it’s definitely one of the more significant books I’ve read in a long time.

I never would have guessed which of these three (Hen Wen, Thorfy, & Snuffy) would end up going to Pighalla first. Or second.