My goal for this year, which is not even a month old, is to get my completed manuscript — titled Lightning Strikes — published. Ideally, this would be accomplished through a literary agent, who would afford me access to bigger publishers who tend to have larger marketing budgets and can submit works for awards. Overall, I really believe landing a literary agent (or, at the very least, a reputable publisher) would do *wonders* for my writing career.

But I’ve had no success. My most recent rejection came from a reputable, larger press … and featured the wrong name.

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To be honest, that really doesn’t do a lot for my confidence, nor does scrolling through the many, many rejections I’ve received.

Look at all these rejections! Is keeping a spreadsheet of them masochistic?

In an act of — inspiration? desperation? — I reached out and queried my publisher of my latest novel, Moody Blue. They’re called GenZ Publishing, and while they are a small press, they did more to help me with marketing than my first publisher (who was wonderful but brand new and tiny). And now I know even more about publishing and have more time and resources to devote to marketing. Isn’t it better to have new work available and work my ass off to get as many readers as possible than to just wait for rejection? I think so, but it does feel like abandoning my goal and settling for less than what I want.

The universe, as always, offered up an answer.

I stumbled across this article from Writer’s Digest. It’s called “Finding Strength in Rejection: Turning Setbacks Into Success as a Writer” by Deanna Martinez-Bey. She gives tips on “…how to handle rejection gracefully and grow stronger along the way.”

Deanna Martinez-Bey says the first step in handling rejection is to Understand That Rejection Is Normal. You can do this through two tips:
Tip 1: Remind yourself that rejection is part of the process.
Tip 2: Celebrate that you’re putting your work out there, which takes courage and strength.

This feels easier said than done. Corny though it may sound, I’m seriously considering writing these on sticky notes and putting them on my bathroom mirror so these truths literally stare me in the face every morning.

Separate Yourself From Your Work
Tip 1: Remember that rejection is an opinion, not a verdict.
Tip 2: Focus on improving your craft rather than dwelling on the negative response. Allow the
negative to propel you into positivity!

Again, this feels impossible for me. I put so much of myself into everything I write that my work is an integral part of me. That being said, I do like the suggestion of shifting the focus from the negative response to improving my craft — do more reading and writing, and really just throw myself into the work.

Look for the Lessons
Tip 1: Identify any helpful suggestions in the rejection.
Tip 2: Use the insights to strengthen your next draft or target more appropriate publishers/agents.

Unfortunately, most of my rejections have been form letters. Fortunately, those that haven’t been, haven’t rejected the work based on its quality. This is a good reminder, though.

Create a Rejection Ritual
Deanna Martinez-Bey says, “A simple ritual to process rejection can help you bounce back faster and easier.”
Tip 1: Allow yourself a short time to feel disappointed—it’s okay to be upset.
Tip 2: To reset your mindset, do something positive, like treating yourself to a coffee or your
favorite treat.

I am ALWAYS looking for a reason to treat myself. Consider this suggestion taken.

Lean on Your Support Network
Tip 1: Connect with fellow writers or supportive friends who can empathize.
Tip 2: Use their encouragement to help you move forward.

I am still in nearly daily contact with my friends from Ireland who I met in the Creative Writing program. I still email with fellow writers from conferences I’ve attended, so I have a support network I can lean on. I actually reached out to my good friend Joe and my most trusted beta reader when dealing with the quandary of returning to the small presses or continuing to pursue an agent.

Keep Putting Your Work Out There
Tip 1: Submit your work to multiple outlets to increase your chances of acceptance.
Tip 2: Set monthly goals for how many submissions you’ll make to stay proactive.

I’ve been planning on sending out queries to the agents who prefer “snail mail” while waiting for a response from GenZ Publishing. According to Deanna Martinez-Bey’s tips, this seems like a good idea.

Protect Your Mental Health
Tip 1: Practice self-care through activities that bring you joy and relaxation.
Tip 2: Remind yourself of your achievements and why you started writing in the first place. Don’t
lose sight of your “why.”

I think this suggestion is really important for me because I do have a tendency to spiral. I don’t know how to stop the metaphorical bleeding. I assume that if one agent rejects the work (and over 100 agents have rejected my writing at the point, I think), then the work is shit and I’ve always been wrong about being writer and I’ve wasted so much time and now I’m embarrassed. And depressed because I’m talentless and delusional.

THAT’s how you spiral, ladies and gentlemen.

As I was drafting this post, I actually made a plan to do a slight rewrite/experiment with Lightning Strikes. Stay tuned, readers.

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