Something on your “to-do list” that never gets done.

My to-do list is a mile long. Juggling being a mom of three, a teacher, a wife, and myself, there is not enough time to complete everything on my list. Something has to give and usually it’s my favorite thing, writing.

Blog writing is easy. It’s reflecting on my day and emotions. But creative writing, that is the one that is placed on the back burner. My dream was always to live off my writing. Maybe one day when I’m no longer supporting my little gremlins, it can happen.

I have followed a lot of indie authors on social. Quite a few have been blessed to leave their nine-to-five jobs and pursue writing full time. Most of them have older children or none at all. I am not jealous of them. In fact, it pushes me harder. To know that it’s possible and not to give up.

Most days, I love my job. High school is a weird, strange place. A friend asked me to explain, and I said it was like a Choose Your Own Adventure reality TV show. Students come to me with the craziest things and wait for my response. Usually I give them advice and wait to see what they will do with it. Some take my advice and life is easy. The ones that don’t come back crying or wondering WTF?!? Why I’m so unhappy?

During my planning periods, I leave my decade old manuscript open waiting for inspiration. Most of the time, I just stare at it, my is mind blank, almost taunting me. Eventually it gets burnt out reading and editing students’ scripts. By the end of the day, I’m fired trying to help students come up with unique creative ideas. I could leave it be, but I have to watch all their projects. I learned after my first year of teaching, if I didn’t help them brainstorm ideas, I’ll watch twenty different anti bullying PSAs.

For months I’ve fought my depression, nothing could get through the fog. But just before the new year, it lifted. I’m not pulled me through it but I started writing again. Be it ideas coming to me in my sleep, walking me. Surprisingly, the notes I have left have made sense. Which is fantastic when I read them awake.

So, between doctor appointments and baseball games, I try to work my way through notes left for me. One day I’ll get through my to-do list, but there’s no rush.