I was standing in my kitchen just now having a realization about who I am now vs. who I have been. I have the day off because Tuesdays have become my days off. It’s not a privilege, although my children think I’m “so lucky” to have an extra day off during the week. I still work my 40 hours (usually more), and come home at the end of my days tired and wanting to crawl into bed, or laze on the couch until it is bedtime and then wake up and do it all over again.

Tuesdays have become my magical resting day. A day to write. A day to think. A day to reflect. A day for extra coffee. A day for staring out my window at the trees for long periods of time and wondering if I’m willing to bundle up to go for a long walk. And it’s a day for ideas. I have so many of them! I’ve come up with at least three new ideas today, and they all seem wonderful enough to give up everything I’m doing in exchange for them. But I always feel that way about my ideas. So I write them down instead.

This post was an idea, while standing in the kitchen, and thinking long thoughts about the type of mother I have been, and am now.

I have been a stay-at-home mom.

I have been a working mom.

I have been a single mom.

I have been a stepmom.

I have been a girl mom and a boy mom, and now a mom of children who simply identify as human beings.

I have been a rich mom.

I have been a poor mom.

I have been every kind of mom.

In a world where moms are pitted against each other in the competition to see which way is the right and only way to mom, I can now say, all ways are right.

This felt profound enough to make a post about it.

Of course when I was a young mom, not even old enough to legally drink alcohol, but still a mom, I thought I had it all figured out, and I thought this was it. I was a young wife, a young mom, and I stayed home to take care of my child. I didn’t know I was lucky, in fact, I thought life was pretty unfair. I had dreams of my own, and because I was a young mom, I felt that no one wanted to support me in those dreams. Being a mom was the choice I made instead, and I really hated feeling like it had to be one way or the other. Either have your dreams, or be a mom, and I hadn’t thought any of it through. I was just living, and doing the next thing that happened. For me, it was motherhood. My child was not an accident. They were not an “oops” baby. They were very intentional, but until they came along, I didn’t realize the expectation that I was giving up my dreams to be their mother.

So, I didn’t. I pushed against all the ideals of being a stay-at-home mom and did what felt right to me. I chased every single dream I could think of.

That caused shifts in my life, and how I was as a mother.

Sometimes I worked part-time. Sometimes I went to school at night and on weekends. Sometimes I stayed home because it made more sense, and instead pursued hobby careers (like photography). We call them side hustles now, but I’ve been doing it since before they had a nickname and a new expectation associated with them.

I stayed married to the wrong man for 15 years, realized my freedom, and got divorced. I became a single mom, and it was terrifying. It was worth it though, for so many reasons. I learned a lot about myself in that time and showed my children a different side of me. The side that can do it all, no matter what anyone else thinks, and good Lord, a lot of people have a lot of opinions.

I went back to school, again, for a different reason this time, and got the career I have now as a medical assistant. I love it! My 40 hours a week don’t bother me at all, and my children are adjusting. They love Tuesdays, too.

And I’m a wife again, to a man who respects all the versions of mom I’ve been. He’s my partner, not my keeper. We make this life work together. That matters.

This is a short story of motherhood, but no matter what stage or version of motherhood you’re in, you’re doing great. You’re learning and growing, and showing those babies what you can accomplish at all stages of life and circumstances.

You got this, mama. Keep going.