I’m happy(?) to report that my family dental office hasapparently merged with a major international airline.

I got an automated email this morning from West VillageFamily Dentistry, reminding me that I needed to schedule my next cleaningappointment. That was expected. What was not expected was the Lufthansa logonext to their name, or the Lufthansa logo prominently displayed in the mainheader area at the top of the email, with “Lufthansa” written next to it.

So, apparently, my small family dentist office in Rocklin, Californiahas merged with Germany’s flagship carrier, the fourth largest airline in theworld. This is an interesting development. I wonder who bought whom?

The email simply read:

Regular dental visits are crucial to maintaining ahealthy smile and our records show that you are past due for a cleaning andexam. Request an appointment above and let us know what times work for a visit.

Hope to see you soon!

- Your Friends at West Village Family Dentistry

Oddly, there was no mention of the merger, or how it wouldaffect my dental care options. There was also no mention of why Lufthansa’simpressive computer scheduling system didn’t know that I already have anappointment scheduled in April. Maybe all the Rocklin appointments got wipedout if there was already a flight scheduled at the same time when theyintegrated the two systems? That’s probably what happened.

Also conspicuously missing from the communication was any mentionof the obvious changes I will encounter at my next visit. For instance, am Inow required to arrive at my dental office two hours before my cleaning?

How does security work now? Do I need to bring a passport ora REAL ID to check in at the counter after May 7, 2025?

If they do the arms-over-your-head full body scan, will thatdouble as my x-rays? Is that covered by insurance, or is that free?

If I have TSA PreCheck, do I need to wait in the waitingroom with the commoners, or can I go directly to my dental chair?

If I purchased a Business Class cleaning, how will thatdiffer from a First Class or Coach cleaning?

Will the dental chairs be replaced by more Lufthansa-ishseats? If so, will the little button on the arm rest recline my seat enoughfrom its upright and locked position to allow them to work on my teeth?

Will getting into the new dental chairs now be called “boarding?”

Will a hygienist come by with a skinny cart and offer mecomplimentary water, soft drinks, and coffee? Will beer and wine be availablefor purchase? Will the drinks be delivered by my hygienist through the little sprayernozzle?

How do the complimentary snacks work now? The little bags ofpretzels and snack mix seem like they might work against the main goal of theappointment.

Will the new dental chairs now have seat belts and flotationdevices built into the seat cushions?

How do the oxygen masks work in the event of a loss of officepressure during my visit? Will oxygen just be delivered via one of those hospitalnose-hoses instead of a yellow mask and bag so they can keep working in my mouth?Also, the office ceilings are pretty high. Will the nose-hose be long enough,and do I still need to pull down to start the flow of oxygen?

As you can tell, at this point I’ve got more questions thananswers about this merger.

I’m currently on hold with Lufthansa customer service to tryto get some clarity.

See you soon,

-Smidge

Copyright © 2025 Marc Schmatjen

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