In a few years, as you enter menopause, you’ll start to have all sorts of mood swings, so you should warn your partner to be prepared. 

Not an exact quote, but the gist of what a know-it-all gynaecologist told me during a health check-up a few years ago, after quizzing me on whether I knew why people did pap smears, and appearing rather disappointed that I knew the correct answer. 

This was my only introduction to this strange new phase of my life. 

The things I knew about menopause are things I could count on my fingers: no more menstruation, hot flashes, and irritability. 

But of late, as I was officially declared perimenopausal by my ob-gyn (not the know-it-all thankfully), I have found myself seeking out more information, even though there is not much available except the ever-pervasive: you’ll have mood swings, sweat a lot, and put on weight. 

I noticed the weighing scale tipping upwards, with no real change in my diet. I noticed that my husband’s figure remained as it was while mine softened and slackened. I noticed that my periods while lighter and shorter, sucked the life out of me, making me feel like I could sleep for 20 hours and still feel tired. 

I know that weight and thinness are not the be all and end all – I do not want to look thin, I don’t care about six pack abs (never have), but I do want to feel healthy. 

Having put on four kilograms since my wedding last year, with much of the weight gain having happened over the last six months eating the same foods that hadn’t affected me before, I felt frustrated. It’s not about those four kilograms per se, but about having control over my body and my health. 

None of the dietary advice I’ve read seems to be helpful. I have consulted nutrition experts before and have been burned by poor advice which wasn’t based on my individual needs. 

I had already struggled with weight gain during the early part of the pandemic. At that time, I tried many qualitative solutions, introducing all sorts of buzz foods into my diet, and sought professional advice. Nothing worked.

I finally stopped reading nutrition advice online and listening to “experts” and started trying out intuitive things. 

For example, a simple calorie counter told me that the problem wasn’t the quality of what I was eating – I have always been a healthy eater – but the quantity – specifically of protein. 

Even too much of a good thing is still that: too much. 

As a non-vegetarian, I naturally consume enough protein for my body weight, yet I was given the feeling that the more protein, the better. But what I didn’t realise is that it didn’t suit my body or my needs. 

Then, about three years ago, as soon as I started to monitor my caloric intake and my macros, the problem righted itself and I lost ten kilograms slowly and steadily over about six to eight months.

Today, I’m back to taking stock of my lifestyle and my diet, trying to figure out what makes me feel better and more energetic. I’m experimenting to see not only what moves the number down on the scale but how it affects my mood, my strength and my ability to get through the day. I have had a few small wins, but there is still a long way to go. 

 I’m not a health expert, and none of the above is meant as advice for those who are struggling with the same thing; rather, it is just me sharing my experiences and hoping that I can figure this out, one step at a time.

Menopause is not something that has been discussed in great detail, perhaps because it is something of a taboo topic. However, I see this changing, especially as millennials approach and experience perimenopause and menopause. At least I’m hoping it will be. 

The only thing that has helped me is humour – and here’s where the internet, specifically social media, has been a boon. There is some great hilarious content out there, which not only lightens the mood, it also helps us feel less alone. It gives us the feeling that there is someone who can relate to our pain. 

I don’t know if I’ll lose all the weight I gained or if it’s even important to me to lose every gram of it – but it is more about having the ability to own my body and health. That, to me, is priceless.