I’ve heard it so many times over the years, “thank you for your friendship.”  It’s nice to be appreciated, but only when the words have true meaning. It’s a lot like people would say, “we need to get together.” The words come out, but the action behind them disappears, and instead, they become just empty words. So why say something without it having true meaning?

I often think it’s because people just don’t know what to say without feeling awkward. They may not know how to say what they really feel without hurting the other person’s feelings, but no matter what the reason, there’s really no need to say empty words.

Political speeches, books, magazines, all of these are powerful ways of connecting to someone without having to pay for high-priced billboards to relate a message. If you really think about it, every page brings emotion and feeling to what is being said or written. That’s how important our words are to each other. So when we express an intention or good cheer should never be a casual phrase. It’s more a magical line of understanding between two people.

Words do have power and the magic. To understand where the power and the meaning come from within. The magic is in understanding how we are able to interact with language and how we interact with one another. The magic of our words comes when we use the power of those words on purpose. Read that again.

The magic of our words comes when we use the power of those words on purpose. Communication is not about knowing some words. It’s about understanding people. That’s why empty words, as well intended as they may be, can be hurtful.

We look for acceptance from one another and we want to feel like we belong. We want to know there are people out there who agree with them and accept them. This is why “yes” is a magic word. Saying “yes” to someone is a big way to express agreement and acceptance.

We also look be our own selves. We want to feel unique and valued as a person. This is why someone’s name is a magic word. It shows that you are focused on them.

We like to imagine what could be. They see what is, and think about how they can make it better. This is why “if” is a magic word. We don’t want their efforts to go unrecognized. This is why “thanks” is a magic word. Saying “thanks” acknowledges others and shows gratitude.

We want to feel needed. We want to feel like they contribute to others in a meaningful way. This is why “help” is a magic word. When you ask someone for help, it allows them an opportunity to play the role of hero. We want to know why. Cause and effect is very important to us. Random acts of violence, with no clear motive, are the kind that bother us the most. This is why “because” is a magic word. When people hear “because,” they know that an answer is coming. It scratches the irritating itch left behind by an unresolved “why” because using empty words isn’t better.

Think about it. Each word serves a different purpose, and each word pulls the brain in a different direction. The magic only happens when you understand people. It’s never about what you should say or shouldn’t say in any given situation. It’s about what they need to hear.

It’s about having understanding, empathy, vulnerability, selflessness, and gratitude. This is what is meant to be. This is the real magic behind words. This is the real magic that has the power to change our world and away from using so many empty words.