At the top of the list of impossible things I wanted in 2020, after my son Raphaël’s sudden death, was for him to reappear, alive. He’d tell us it was all a misunderstanding. The paramedics had managed to revive him after all, and he was going to continue the life as a son, a brother, a friend, a lover, an activist. Most of all, his mission to protect endangered wildlife wasn’t over. He was 25: it had just begun.

My second wish was to disappear, and escape from the hell of living in my own skin:...