The day Dave Eggers, JeanM. Auel, Jacqueline Wilson, J.M Coetzee and Donna Tartt asked to be my friends.

It all started when Iannounced the publication of my latest book, (A novel ironically titled “On theBacks of Others”), on a number of Facebook Groups dedicated to writing andwriters. My Facebook page was immediately inundated with people congratulatingme, telling me how much they liked the cover and the synopsis of the plot,asking me to tell them more about my “writing journey” and my “inspirations”,wanting me to describe the “greatest challenges” I had faced in the writing,asking if this was my first published work and what my marketing plans were.They all professed that they wanted to be my friends in order to swap authortales while sitting at my feet, gazing up at me, adoringly, (that mentalpicture I added myself).

For a few heady moments Iwas thrilled to receive such an avalanche of reactions so quickly afterpublication, but then I noticed that they were all asking the same questionsand they were all then telling me that they could help me to get reviews onAmazon, or increase my sales in the same way they had done for their own books,with a variety of magic marketing strategies. Apparently, it was all going tobe extremely affordable. So far, so predictable. I mean everyone’s got tohustle a living in any way they can, right? Even a Bot.

Then Dave Eggers got intouch. Yeah, I know – Dave Eggers. I did a quick bit of due diligence and itcertainly looked like him and sounded like him. Now I happen to be a big fan,so this hit a button for me. I asked if he was the real deal, and he assured mehe was, and he chatted so convincingly that I suspended all disbelief and wentwith the flow. I mean – it was Dave Eggers! After a bit of affable, writerly, to-ingand fro-ing, he then offered to brief his team to help me to get more reviewson Amazon, and my disbelief was no longer suspended. I mean, I fully believethat the charming Mr Eggers would be helpful if he could, |his track record insuch matters is impeccable, but what were the actual odds that he would decideto bestow his kindness on someone he has never heard of, who lives on the otherside of the pond?

Then I noticed that oneof the others who had been offering to help was none other than Jean M. Auel.And then, as if that was not exciting enough, I got messages from JacquelineWilson, Catherine Steadman, J.M Coetzee and Donna Tartt. If any of theseauthors genuinely did contact me in order to congratulate me on the stunningcover of my book, and on my amazing achievement of being published, I apologisefor doubting you. But I have a strong suspicion someone is pulling my leg.

The question that occursto me, however, is do any of these distinguished authors have any idea thatthey are being impersonated in this way? I seem to remember there was someonewho got away with impersonating Graham Greene for years, back in the analoguedays of yore, but the digital world seems to have taken this template toextraordinary heights.

There is an army ofimposters on line, pretending to be famous authors, in order to win theconfidence of less famous authors and sell them services of dubious value orquality, but the saddest part of the whole story is that I really enjoyed beingDave Eggers friend for those few minutes.