You know what they say about opinions! If you don’t know, maybe ask google the question “Why are opinions like assholes?” Too lazy to open a search bar? Oh, fine, it’s because we all have one, and if you’re feeling really colorful, it’s also because they all stink.

Despite the common knowledge that everyone’s opinion is different, and that every work of literary criticism is an opinion, book reviews are still very much treated as an authority on whether a book is worth our time as a reader. As a ...