It's Never a Good Time!

You can afford to be lazy! When You Disconnect From the Source

It's Never a Good Time!

Dear Reader,

It’s never a good time.

Someone’s always hurting.

Someone’s always in pain.

Someone always has too much work.

Someone’s always in stress.

If we do not learn the art of detachment, if we do not learn how to work on our mindset, there will never be a good time.

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It’s also a bit tricky that when you live in the present moment, people assume it’s because you have nothing to worry about. The grass is always greener on the other side. That somehow you are God’s favorite child and there has been no stressful situation handed to you.

Very few people would be willing to see it as a skill one can develop over time by working on their mindset, attitude and outlook towards life.

Since I am a single woman entrepreneur, people often assume I have nothing to worry about. “She can be an entrepreneur, because she doesn’t have in-laws to manage or kids to look after.” Very few people are willing to see that I am not only managing my household chores and finances by myself, I am also running my own initiatives instead of being the receiver of a certain amount of money every single month with unlimited sick leaves and dedicated privilege leaves.

But it’s not about what other people are willing to see about you or not. It’s about you! And I see every spend of mine as a luxurious spend - from my food choices, to cafes for working, to buying utensils, or paying my cook and househelps. I have trained myself to believe in this so much that I recently found myself telling my friend out loud on how, being single, every expenditure of mine is actually made on luxury and not on needs like childcare or groceries.

As I look back, I realize it may not be all true. It’s just an attitude I adopted. If you can’t work on your mind, no one else can come and do the same.

I can say that there will be people in my position who would crib about the uncertainty of entrepreneurship, of the industry, of clients’ behavior, of the house, of the traffic. But some six years back, one fine day, I decided to stop being so angry towards the world, and to see the beauty in everything instead.

My philosophy was simple. We have only one life. The only truth is the present moment. I can never guarantee that I will live tomorrow. That I will be magically prettier tomorrow. That I will be slimmer tomorrow. That I will be richer tomorrow. That there will be more convenience tomorrow even if I do not do anything about it today.

So I felt it was futile to hate my present body and assume there’d be a magical future tomorrow when I will wear a bikini and be slim. It’s futile to assume I will be fairer tomorrow without acnes. I stopped judging myself and my circumstances.

We often judge ourselves because we secretly believe in a mystical tomorrow that truly never comes. I decided to embrace the present.

Do not accept it.

But embrace it.

Give it a big hug.

Look into its eyes.

Smile and let it smile back.

Hug it even tighter.

If you are a skeptic, you can just conclude that I gaslit myself into seeing the silver lining. I have gaslit myself so much that I honestly think I am pretty. And soon enough, people started giving the same compliment to me. I cannot tell for sure whether they were lying to impress me but something different was happening for sure. My acnes reduced too, now that I think of it. And often I forget I am fat unless someone tells me to lose some weight or just calls me chubby.

I was changing the way I think of myself. And the world was changing the way they talk of me.

I am not in denial but I am not in an acceptance from the attitude of a loser who takes what he gets. I simply have no judgement about me, most of the times. The money I have? It’s good enough. I never see myself as poor. The body I have? It’s good enough. I maybe fat but I don’t see it as a bad thing, in all honesty.

Judgement is the energy of rejection underneath the adjectives we use. It’s not that someone is poor, or fat, or is single or married, it’s that somewhere we see it as a bad thing, we have believed it to be a negative disadvantageous thing.

Few days back, a 38yo entrepreneur told me about how everyone sees him as someone who is not settled. And to justify his point, he says to me, “your journey is different too, it’d be difficult for people to accept you as you are not settled.”

I said, “I see myself as settled. I don’t see a reason why people can’t accept me.” You see, I have made my own definitions and let go of judgements. Well, 90% of time, unless a friend calls me up and hammers my misery into my head and I start cribbing along.

So when I have successfully gaslit myself into believing I am living a free life with no worries, no wonder, people assume I have nothing to worry.

And maybe that’s okay. I do not have to crib and whine to justify all the things going wrong in my life. Maybe it’s okay that I will always be the person whose grass is green and who looks at the silver lining. I have nothing to complain.

Do you?

If you can spare a weekend to spend with me at Lakehouse near Chandigarh, I invite you to a two-day retreat and workshop to be held on 26th and 27th April. Simply send me an email at sanhitabaruah@gmail.com or ping me on Instagram at almost.everybody to grab a seat before they fill up. We will watch sunrises and sunsets, indulge in home-cooked healthy meals, detox ourselves in nature as we walk barefoot on the grass, and drink triphala water, sip chai while looking at the lake and talking heart-to-heart, and learn about Consciousness and how to include it in everyday life. Do not forget to ping me to get the entire itinerary.

With love,

Sanhita Baruah