i’ve lived in this body
my entire life and
never once at peace
with how i am perceived
except in flashes

the company-provided packet
of instructions is written in
a language i can’t understand

i wish (not daily but
maybe twice a week)
for the evolutionary aptitude
of some deep sea creature
adapting to intense pressure
thriving with scraps of light
or none at all — able to be
absolutely bioluminescent
in the darkest of places

did you know anglerfish
have to find the glowy bits?
they’re not spawned like that
it’s symbiotic bacteria
who’s collected over time
brought on as part of the team
not an identity crisis but crafted
intentionally beyond the box(fish)

so too i to
take a breath
my gills impatient
with how this poem
is turning out
(i’m not sure why it took
such an aquatic turn)

in conclusion i
feel lucky i feel
at pieces with the corners
i’ve shaved off expectations
glowing up and out a little bit
nestled in the Mariana Trench
among the candy wrappers
they’ve found at the bottom