Nat’l Poetry Month contest submissions: Part I
Check it out. The first poems are coming in. What do you think?
Colleen Kennedy, age 15
The Unknown
I don’t know what’s going to happen next
And that alone makes me scared to death
My hands will eventually start to sweat
I’ll lose my breath
And all the while my heart will be beating fast
I wish I could make this calmness last
But not now
Not again
Inside I’m screaming
Can you hear me?
Am I going crazy?
‘Cause I can’t think clearly
I’m losing control
I feel like letting go
How can I cope?
Tell me
‘Cause I don’t know
Right now just leave me alone
I don’t want your touch
You can hold me later on
God know’s I’ll need it then
When the after depression starts sinking in
I’ll just wait for these feelings
To subside
These tears
To dry
The fact they always have
Brings me hope
Stephanie Faith Sizeland, age 19
Stop the bleeding
As she heads for the book shelf
She apologizes to herself once more
“I’m sorry, I can’t take it anymore.”
She lifts up her book titled “Glass”
“Story of my life” she whispers…
Underneath hides a secret kept from the world
The story of a broken girl.
She picks up the translucent piece
Sharpened edge
Sharper than the rest
In need of one more release.
Glass to skin, she carves
Another scar
One more line to match the rest
Closes her eyes and lets it slide
“This is the last time.” She lies.
As the blood runs, she weeps
Always abides by her one rule
“Never too deep”.
The lines are straight
She holds her arm to the light
Studying the horizontal cuts
Always left to right.
Never does it for attention
Or sympathy from anyone
Does it for herself
Because she feels she has no choice
Not tonight, not ever.
It’s about stopping.
It’s about having the courage to stop.
Having the strength.
Relief is possible without the knife.
Don’t cut your life short.
Make an effort to stop.
Make an effort to get better.
Tell someone you love.
Help someone you know.
Stop the scars.
Stop the bleeding.
C.S., age 15
Some days
All I want is to end it.
End the pain
in my heart and from the blade.
Some days
I don’t feel like I can live.
I cannot breath
I think this is the end now.
Some days
I do not have any hope.
“Look at yourself.
Your goals will end in failure.”
Days like these,
I have to cut myself up
To put things back together.
There is no other way.
But TODAY
I will persevere through it.
I will beat this.
There are ways for me to win.
Today
I will smile.
I will put down the blade.
I will survive.
Today
I will live.
Kelcie H., age 13
Captured In Hiding:
When he leaves it’s already black
struggling to breathe but there’s no turning back
i find myself frozen when he turns around
he takes a little step closer
i spin down
hoping it will only be a pound….or two
here he comes closer and closer and
takes his shoe and chucks it at me
i try not to cry as he tosses me around
with not even a doubt
i hear him shoot
something which sounded like a gun
but he gets closer and closer and aims
for what seemed to be me
so here i am straining to breathe, i whisper
no daddy please
but one big bang can do it all
i am getting dizzier and dizzier..
then it all seemed to be……
over.
Nicole Easterwood, age 20
Because We Were Different
I remember when eighty-four pounds
made me feel obese.
And looking in the mirror
was excruciating.
Not being able to see
what Jo saw
and her not being able to see
that the cuts gracing her ankles
were killing me.
Turmoil.
Not believing that people cared.
Not believing that they could see
through translucent skin.
Masquerading through,
jumping at inconspicuous apparitions,
both tangled within a web
positioned in a fool’s paradise.
“Fucking loser.”
“Fat ass piece
of worthless shit.”
“Ghost.“
“Why
don’t
you
just
die.”
“Robin
is
dead.”
All slashing away
at a heart
that was fighting
not to bleed out.
Remembering the time when I didn’t know
That Jo was cutting,
because someone was abusing her
when they drank to forget.
All of the beer cans she discovered
stored underneath the house,
like no one would ever uncover them.
Dirty little secrets swept under the rug
when they were already written on the walls
and displayed like a painting in a museum.
The time when I wasn’t honest with her
when I was starving myself
and my skin was fervent.
When depression devoured me
and I couldn’t pull myself from bed.
When I wouldn’t talk
to doctors out of shame.
Feeling guilty for lying to Jo.
Wondering if she knew.
The real reason behind the scars
made into a fairytale
with a happy ending of healing
without risk of madness.
The times I could hear
voices talking about me.
Being betrayed
by people I trusted.
Putting up with it,
so I wouldn’t have
to sit alone at lunch.
Getting pelted with objects
in bathroom stalls.
Silence.
Loneliness.
The force-field surrounding
everything I loved
being destroyed by meteors.
My mouth numb,
mind howling.
What would everyone think
if I admitted I was what I was?
What would they think
if they knew the truth?
Fifteen years of age,
high school freshman.
Depressed,
anxiety ridden,
suicidal,
possibly anorexic
and/or bulimic.
Problems,
problems,
problems solved
by the warm side of a lighter
or blazing heat of a stove eye.
“I’m such a klutz,”
used as a ploy.
Coming home everyday
feeling worse than the last.
Multiple failures, pleading
each would be enough
to be released.
Because we were different.
Because we couldn’t find
ways to deal.
Because the pain
was too immense.
Time is all we have.
It’s been almost six years.
Ages ago we believed
that healing was nowhere.
Love and light were gone
and there was only one way out.
To feel nothing,
to give into
a twisted minds
hankering.
Now, there is only a vast ocean
swimming with possibilities
and we are digging
our feet into the sand
trudging towards it.
It’s still there.
And I don’t know
when it’s presence
will fully vacate our chests.
There is always the fight.
We will tussle,
because we are worth it.
Always together,
never apart.
We will be grateful for this day,
feel the wind hit our cheeks
and sun’s warmth on our backs
and just breathe,
breathe,
breathe.
Shannon Bradley, age 40
Death by volcano takes many forms:
the boy who lived within might fly out and attack,
perform the rituals designed to appease
But she had been asked inside.
She knew searing lava, suffocating mud,
seismic restlessness
She sucked in a breath
She let herself imagine
the expansion of his chest.
Everything’s going to be all right.
Everything’s going to be.
Danielle Alison, age 14
Presence in the Sunset
The beautiful oranges,
reds and yellows.
They form over the
crystal blue waters.
The waves,
calm as the breeze.
The breeze feels nice
in the warm air.
The warm air brushes
upon her face.
She looks to her right
and sees him.
He is walking in the
beautiful horizon.
She cannot see his face,
but knows it is him.
She becomes excited
to see him,
but has to quickly hide
her expression.
Looking back out
to the waters,
She pretends not
to realize his existence.
They are the only two
on the beach.
After a few minutes,
she forgets he is
even there.
The waves start to rise,
splashing at her feet.
The warm waves
are soothing.
She feels a presence,
suddenly remembering
The boy she was
once in love with.
He sits behind her,
wrapping his arms
around her waist,
and kisses her neck.
“I’m so sorry,”
he whispers softly.
“Forgive me?
Take me back?
I’ll make everything
better if you do.”
His voice is hopeful.
Watching the sunset,
and feeling the waves,
who could not forgive him,
for his sweet presence?
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