I glanced up at the recipe again. Yes, it really did callfor that much butter. I plunked the butter into the pan and then chopped theraw chicken into pieces.

“Something smells…different.”

I smiled at Ivy. “Well, I decided this week I would make upfood from another country. I’m making up food from India. I’m going to make naanbread, rice, and buttered chicken.”

Ivy wrinkled her nose when she smelled the spice mix. “Areyou sure this will taste good?”

I shook my head. “Nope. I’ve never had Indian food and I’venever tried to make it. We will find out if it’s any good. Would you like totry this?” I held out my cup.

She eyed it suspiciously and didn’t take it. “What is it?”

“It’s a drink I found. It’s ice, yogurt, mango, and a littlebit of Cardamon. It’s pretty good. It’s called Mango Lassi.”

She shook her head. “No thank you.”

I turned back to the recipe and continued to work. I knew Ivydidn’t like new things. “Don’t worry, I got a pizza in the freezer if you don’tlike this.”

Ivy hugged me as I added in the spices. “You didn’t have todo that. I could have eaten leftovers.”

“I know, but I figured that if I was going to experiment ifno one liked it, there should be an alternative.”

“What smells so good?” Ben said, entering the kitchen.

I smiled and pointed. “Indian food. I hope.”

“Everyone loved it!” I said as I sipped the vanilla iced tea.

Joan smiled back. “It sounds like a lovely time.”

I nodded. “It was the best time we’ve had since…” Iswallowed. I didn’t want to say the word, but I forced myself to take a deepbreath and say it anyway: “Since Dad moved out for a time.”

Joan nodded. “And how are you doing with that?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know. Mom seems to be doing better, soI guess the distance has been a good thing, but it still feels sad. I want tosupport my parents in what they feel like they need, but it’s hard not to seewhat it’s costing us. And by us, I really mean me. I hate the idea of ending upas part of a statistic.”

Joan looked down at her tea. “So, your biggest fear is ofbeing part of static? Of looking bad?”

I thought for a moment. Was that what I was afraid of?Slowly I shook my head. “I’m afraid of losing my family.”

Joan nodded.

I cocked my head. “Is there something that I should beafraid of more?”

Joan reached out a hand and placed it on my arm. “The lossof a stable home is one of the hardest challenges a woman can face, no matterher age. I’m not telling you what to feel or not feel. I do want to encourageyou with this: how can you encourage yourself and those around you to bring thegospel into this situation?”

I swallowed. I didn’t want to discount what Joan was sayingbut it was just words. I had heard the phrase a lot, but it felt so meaningless.Did that make me a bad Christian?

Joan wrapped both her hands around her cup. “Let me put itanother way. What questions can you ask yourself, and you family members, totake their attention off of what is wrong, and turn their attention to what Godmight want to use this situation to accomplish?”

I stared off into the bookshop. That was better, but I stilldidn’t know if I knew a good answer. I took a deep breath and turned back toJoan. “I’m not sure. I’m discouraged. I wonder if God wants good things for myfamily as much as I want them. I feel guilty for saying that but that’s what Ifeel like some days.”

“But you know that’s not the truth, right?”

I nodded but then I bit my lip. Did I really? Did I believein my heart of hearts that God wanted my family restored? I took a deep breath.Yes, I did know God wanted to redeem this for His glory. I also know it mightnot happen that way.

I cleared my throat. “I guess sometimes it’s just as scaryto hope as it is to face a loss. I’ve faced a lot of disappointment this year.”I swallowed back a lump as I thought of the day I had fasted and prayed. Could Itrust God with my heart, even if it broke again? Again, in my hear,t I told Godyes, that I surrendered my future to Him.

Joan smiled at me. “And I would encourage you to keepreminding yourself, and your family, to combat the lies the enemy tries toplant in our minds. God is capable of redeeming this. He loves everyoneinvolved in this more than you can imagine. He came to bring life to those deadin sin. And God’s life-giving power is far more powerful than the death sin canbring.”

I nodded. I took a deep breath. “I need be reminded.”

Joan laughed. “We all need to be reminded. We are forgetful.That’s why we need people around us who will remind us of the truth.”

As I ate the leftovers of the Indian food, I pulled out somesticky notes. I put a few reminders I needed to combat the lies in my head andput them on the wall. I nodded.

Weekly Mercies:

Joan

Indian food

God’s mercy toward me when I’m forgetful.