I started working on a new book a few months ago, and the writing has been unreasonably slow. I am a slow writer, and that’s intentional, but there is a difference between writing mindfully and slowly and dragging your feet, overthinking, and wasting time with the writerly version of to be or not to be. 

I admit it; I have been doing the latter. 

This book is taking me into new territory, is still more idea than substance, and is a book I need to write. The stakes are high. 

So, I lit my own fire this week. This is what we have to do sometimes. As my bi-weekly critique group was wrapping up this past Sunday, the time came around for the question: Who will have something to submit for next time? Now I’ve been passing on this question like it was a hot potato for three months, and I had every reason to do the same again. I’ve barely written a thing, and I’m sure what I’ve got is going to marshall the red pens into action. I had a choice: stay safe or get vulnerable. 

I chose to promise the group some pages even though I have no idea how I’m going to get them written and ready. I knew that I believed in myself and in my project enough that I could take whatever rejection might be coming my way. 

This will force me to turn down the volume on the chatter and do the work I need to do. I’m terrified, and I need to be. 

The story I started begins, “Born under a blue moon, Rose, our dormant hero, came into the world screaming.” I’ve been cooking this idea for years and still, I don’t know really what it is. It’s a quest story, a feminist quest story, that seeks to explore the particular challenges of girlhood, then womanhood, and the importance of cultivating powerful alliances with other women. Both the structure and style of the piece are not like any other book I’ve written. I might just be wasting my time. 

Okay, that’s not true. Endeavoring to write the story you need to tell is never a waste of time. There is no normal or set timeline for finishing a book. There is no expiration date. I sat at a coffee shop with a dear friend this weekend working on giving feedback to other writers while she read through and reimagined a book she had originally “finished” at least fifteen years ago. I can’t wait to read it again. 

All we need to do is show up for the work and be willing to do what it takes to propel ourselves forward. I remember reading Annie Dillard’s The Writing Life and the story she recounts about the writer who continuously gets up in a rush as if they have be somewhere, puts their keys in their coat pocket, goes outside I think and starts the car–goes just far enough to return right back to the desk, coat still on, ready to write. Then, when the urgency wears off, they do it all again. Something like that. I’m recalling this from memory. Some of the details might be off. The point remains.

What is it that you are doing this week to move your work forward? What are you doing to restore your faith in the most important truth–You do deserve to be. There is no question. You deserve to weave whatever words you feel like weaving, no matter what it’s all adding up to. 

I’d love to hear what it is you are doing to keep the fire lit in your heart and under your ass this week. I’ll keep you posted on how it goes for me. I’ve got some work ahead of me…

*intense, focused gaze

I also work as a writing coach and love helping writers gain confidence, set goals, and develop their work. For more information on coaching, email me at eatyourwords.lizshine@gmail.com.