Quaint Escapes for Traitorous Bastards: Chapter Two, Part One
Notes: Sooo...some seriously rotten political stuff is going on chez moi, and to help tamp down on my sense of outrage, I'm going to share some more cozy fantasy. Because FUCK those assholes, that's why.
Title: Quaint Escapes for Traitorous Bastards: Chapter Two, Part One
***
Chapter Two, Part One
Photo by Annie Spratt
An Almost-Expected Adventure
Hiram had lost his ability to be surprised as Mistress Tateled him and his ambling wagon back the way they had come, down the rutted pathuntil stopping at the very first or, in this case, last house along the lane.It was the same one he had passed on the way in, mentally noting thedilapidated back door, the hutch without a roof, and the general state ofdisarray of the garden.
It was fate, he figured at this point, the same thing thathad led him to choose a town he had never seen before on the suggestion of aperson he barely knew. When things happened to Hiram, they happened quickly, rarelyallowing for even a moment of contemplation to let him come to grips withthings. And so, despite the faint look of apprehension on Mistress Tate’s faceas they stopped in front of the house, Hiram simply smiled at her.
He had no interest in throwing some kind of fit in front ofthe lady. He was not, after all, a great and powerful wizard. He was anherbalist, and herbalists didn’t care about whether their pillowcases were madeof Cithinian silk, or the furniture in their home was aged white oak polishedwith wax made by blue bees. He would manage just fine.
That said, after walking up the three steps to the frontporch—the second was rather wobbly—and forcing open a door that had swollenduring the winter rains and stuck in place as it dried, Hiram had to confessthat he had at least been hoping for some furnishings.
“Oh, dear,” Mistress Tate said, not sounding all thatsurprised or sorry. “It looks like the scavengers got in.”
“Scavengers?” Hiram asked, a bit surprised. “You get thatkind of thing this far south?”
“Not the way you’re thinking,” Mistress Tate said, her handsstill folded gracefully in front of her. “Not in a desperate, lawbreaking kindof way, more in a—well.” She shrugged. “We are a proud town, but a rather poorone, compared to others in Oribel, Master Emblic. Farming and raising rabbitsis a good life, but it doesn’t leave much room for luxuries like a second chairor a spare bed. I daresay you’re rather lucky that they left the stove.”
She gestured toward the enormous iron monstrosity taking upone wall. Hiram had never seen a stove like it, not even in the imperialkitchens of Vordure Palace. It was black as pitch, for starters, rather thanthe polished bronze that he was used to, and the metal seemed pitted, almostspiky in places. The handles were loose, and several of the drawers seemed tobe falling off their hinges, but there was a sense of comforting solidity to itthat he could appreciate.
“I do count myself lucky,” he said, with as genial a smileas he could put on. His earring heated up briefly, and Hiram resisted the urgeto flick his own ear in front of Mistress Tate. “So, this is the greatroom,” hesaid, turning around to look at the space.
“Sitting room, we call it,” she corrected, indicating thelargest of the open spaces that they had just walked into. “The kitchen area isoften separated by a half-wall, but Raileene enjoyed being able to see herguests as she cooked.” Her smile was soft and a bit sad as she went on, “The preparationand cold storage area is over there. They left the icebox—that was friendly—andthe trap door for the cellar is right there.
“I suggest waiting until you’re properly armed and have atorch to go and check that out,” she added. “There are very few dangerouscreatures in this area, but it’s not impossible that there could be acrawl-bear or coiling snake of some kind down there.”
Crawl-bears and coiling snakes. “Good to know,” Hiram said.He knew his smile was faltering a bit, but he couldn’t stop it at this point.Mistress Tate, at least, was kind enough not to mention it.
“And of course up there is the second level,” she said,pointing at the staircase that traveled up the wall on the left side of thesitting room, which leads to the sleeping areas. “Really, it’s just one largeroom, but when Raileene was raising her family here, it was easy enough to putin screens to divide it up. You might consider a study of some sort.”
“Perhaps,” he agreed, then looked around the great—no, thesitting room—again. Three of the walls had two-foot-by-two-foot windows thatlet in a decent amount of light, and given that there was no back door rightnow, he got a decent amount from there, too.
It still felt close in a way he wasn’t accustomed to.Back in his chambers at the palace, Hiram could have fit this entire house injust his laboratory. His suite had spanned thousands of feet, each nook andcranny filled with something from his adventures in service to the Emperor. Ithad been a monument to his life, a life of power, of magic, of excitement andadventure. It had been a life he was proud to lead, one that he would thoughthe always would. And now…
Now this place is where you’ll build your new life,he thought to himself, trying to polish the grim edge off his words and notquite succeeding. Two unfurnished floors, a cellar which may or may not beinhabited by crawl-bears, and whatever the state of things is outside.
Speaking of… “Mistress,would you care to come out and inspect the rest of the premises with me?”
“I would love to,” Mistress Tate replied primly, a secretivelittle smile on her face as she stepped past him and moved through the opendoor. Hiram watched her go and wondered for a moment just what she knew, or thoughtshe knew. Well, whatever it was, he would deal with it. At the very least, sheseemed like a woman capable of discretion.
He followed her into the garden, then took two steps pasther and stopped, closing his eyes and letting the sounds of the place risearound him. It didn’t take magic to feel the life out here, just a certain sortof presence. The soil was rich with insects, worms digging their tunnels, larvaelying in wait to crawl to the surface and begin a new life in one of manydifferent forms. Bees buzzed—not rare blue bees, but fat, yellow-bodiedbumblebees, stopping occasionally on slightly battered-looking flowers togather their nectar and pack their already heavy bodies with more pollen. Birdschirped in the trees, and a bit beyond them Hiram heard the thud-thud-thudof a rabbit tamping down on the ground.
The air itself was practically green with light and life,and the sweet scent of honeysuckle and lavender caught in his nose when thewind kicked up just right. Hiram smiled broadly and turned to look at MistressTate.
“Ah, there it is,” she said with a smile. “That’s the lookof a man who knows good earth when he feels it.”
“It’s been a long time,” he said. His voice was unexpectedlyhoarse, and he coughed to clear it. “A long time since I had the chance to bethis close to the earth.” Hiram had made fire his everything for so long thathe’d almost forgotten his childhood, hours spent working rich, dark soil, seedingand smoothing, plucking pods and gathering flowers. Those times came back tohim stronger than ever now, and he found himself almost shivering withanticipation of more.
“So you will make this work, then?” she asked more briskly.
“I suppose I’ll have to,” he said. “But,” he added, beforeshe could remonstrate him, “I believe I will be happy to. My needs are few, andwith some work,” a great deal of work, his mind clarified, “I think thiswill be a very comfortable place to live for the foreseeable future.”
“I’m very pleased to hear it,” and she seemed genuine. “Letme show you to the barn.”
The barn was little more than a lean-to, actually, but it atleast had a roof and timber sturdy enough that Hiram would be able to stable Mulethere without worrying too much about him. There were some run-down chickencoops behind it that he hadn’t seen the first time as well. All the wiring onthose would need to be replaced if he were to keep hens, which he might, and asfor the rabbit hutch—
’Oh, I don’t think I need to look at that,” Hiram said whenshe brought it up. “I’m not a rabbit-raising kind of person.”
Mistress Tate just laughed at him. “You live in Lollop now,sir,” she said archly, “I think you’ll soon find that everyone here is arabbit-raising kind of person. But sometimes the rabbit must discover the man.I’ll leave you to find that out.
“Come to the market tomorrow,” she continued, drawing hershawl a bit more closely about her shoulders. “I have a stall there, and I’llbe able to introduce you to the carpenter and the blacksmith and the like.They’re good people to know for projects such as this.”
“I’ll see you in the morning then, Mistress,” Hiram saidwith a nod as he escorted her out. “Unless you’d like me to accompany you backto town?”
“I’ve been walking this village alone for much of my life,”she replied. “They’re safe as can be. I’ll see you tomorrow morning, MasterEmblic.” They exchanged nods, then Mistress Tate took off at a brisk pace alongthe road.
Hiram went back through the front door, looked around at theempty space just waiting to be filled, and clapped his hands. “All right,” hesaid. “Let’s do this.”


