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Last month, I received an email from If It Be Your Will, a podcast that features interviews with indie-rock musicians. At first, I thought it might be a marketing scam, and even after I realized it wasn't, I needed to overcome my own skepticism about my past and especially my closeted past, as if every part of it was tainted by deception. 

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But the interview ended up being an amazing experience. Chris Colley (the podcaster and interviewer) was not only a long-time fan of the Saturnine, but was also part of the indie-rock scene in Montreal, where we played many times. As we we reflected back on Saturnine, the distinction between artist and audience blurred, and it felt like we were talking about something we had gone through together. 

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I emerged from the experience feeling less critical of my past, which was a very unexpected but meaningful gift, and one that I am trying to bring to other facets of my life. The past is immutable, but my understanding of it can change. 

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Has anyone else recently had revelations about your past? If so, feel free to drop a note in the comments :) 

Here is the podcast: 

https://www.ifitbeyourwill.ca/2025/07/ifitbeyourwill-s05e27-matt-gallaway.html