My son Nick claims that I have an entropic field that causes things to break down in my presence. There’s a lot of evidence to support this. Today, for instance, I discovered a new method of breaking the department printer. Apparently it’s offended by NEW.

That gives us two things in common: I don’t like new things either, lately. (They usually involve the president showing his unfitness for office in unexampled ways.) Also, I use any excuse not to work.