I didn’t get to go to my Grandma’s funeral.

We’re traveling to Realm Makers this week, and with everything, the timing just didn’t make financial or emotional sense to go all the way to Vegas for a day, only to fly back and immediately start more traveling. (It’d be 8+ hours of flying, not to mention the 2-hour drive to the airport, then the 8+ hours it’ll take to get to Realm Makers.)

I’m young, but I’m not that young.

I was lamenting to my friend how guilty I felt for making that choice, for not being able to fly back home and be there for my family, or to grieve her passing myself.

“Well, let’s have a ceremony here.” She said, and it quite literally changed my life.

A Change In Weather

You know how in the movies, it’ll start raining during a funeral?

And it’s always a little cliche, but MAN, it fits the vibe, right? On Saturday, we planned a picnic at Salt Fork, OH. My friends grabbed picnic food, blankets, and we all gathered together in a spot of grass right by the lake. It was gorgeous, and I can’t help but think my Grandma, while not a real outdoorsy woman, would have appreciated the beauty.

One minute it was sunny, with no rain on the forecast, and within twenty minutes the sky grew dark gray and our apps said “rain imminent.”

We prayed against the rain—and immediately got the sense that we shouldn’t be praying for that, but for something else. We gathered under a tree to make a plan, and the moment we did, the skies opened up and it downpoured.

The tree offered little protection, and within minutes, we were soaked head to toe. Cue the Chaos.

One friend started shrieking and giggling at the sheer audacity of the sky. I began to scramble our phones into a dry place. Another friend dove for the food, shoving it into bags. Halfway through our panic, I looked up and across the field to see my dear friend and roommate Vella, who had been a little late, sprinting towards our tree. (The sight of her coming over the hill like a warrior on a mission will never leave me.)

Not exactly what I was picturing when I wanted to gather with my friends to remember my grandma.

We decided to gather at a burger joint down the road, and when we showed up, there was an entire family reunion going on. They all stared at us as we showed up, soaking wet, and stood awkwardly trying to find a table. There wasn’t one.

I was upset. This night was not turning out as I had wanted it to in the slightest, and I was ready to give up and go home. My friends went inside to order us fries, and as I stood outside, waiting for the family reunion to clean up and get out, I started to ponder and ask God why the night had so suddenly taken such a poor turn.

That’s when I remembered the impact my grandma had on my life. I won’t go into extreme detail here (for more about her, you can read this blog I wrote).

While I don’t know if I can recall her ever saying this, there’s one sentence that I would say sums up her life.

“If you get a story out of it, it’s worth doing.”

My grandma was wild. She read a ton, and loved to listen to a good story, fiction or not. There’s one thing for sure: I will never forget getting drenched in the rain with my friends. That night will be talked about for years to come, just like my grandma’s stories about her own life.

So, what makes a true friend?

Sometimes, friendship looks like staying up well past your bedtime, giggling and wheezing about nothing in particular. Sometimes it seems like showing up at a party and quietly enjoying everyone’s company. Sometimes it’s loud laughter, quiet snickers, and shared glances.

And other times it’s crying in the rain with your friend because they’re hurting.

It’s listening to them give a half-formed, rambling speech about someone they deeply cared about. It’s listening. It’s hurting with them. It’s giving them permission to cry, and telling them it’s not their fault, even if they know that already.

A true friend isn’t some characteristic. It isn’t “someone who is funny” or “Someone who always knows what to say.“

Sometimes, the enemy gets in and lies, saying you aren’t good enough to be a good friend. The enemy will lie and attack your characteristics or personality and say, “Look! Here’s proof! Proof of why you are a horrible person and a terrible friend.”

But it isn’t about that. Not in the slightest. Because a true friend? They’re present, like Jesus is.

A friend loves at all times,
and a brother is born for a time of adversity.
Proverbs 17:17

My friends are not perfect people. They get angry. They get sad. They get grumpy.

But they are present, like Jesus is. I can only hope to be present for them as they have been for me. 🙂

Pictures don’t do justice for how truly soaked we were.

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