PLEASE PIN THIS IMAGE How do Christians find the balance between serving andenjoying life – e.g., avoiding stress? It’s a question I’ve struggled with formy entire adult life, probably because I’m neurodivergent That makes“adulting” inherently stressful to me.

Adding fuel to the fire has been the insidious, continuousmessage from church leaders (regardless of denomination) that if you’re notusing your time, talents, and treasure to serve other people, you’re not a goodChristian.

There’s a whole lot to unpack right there, but I don’t wantto get off the subject. Long story short, there is nowhere in the Bible thateven hints that your spare time is supposed to be spent bending over backwardsto give or do to other people what they don’t really need.

Sorry-not-sorry, but that is what “serve” has come to meanin modern-day Christendom.

Yes, we’re supposed to help when a genuine opportunity landsin front of us and we have time and energy to do so. Yes, we’re supposed tocarry each others’ burdens and be good friends. Yes, sometimes that means giving up an evening or a week or even a monthof our free time.

But it doesn’t mean slaving for people who can do forthemselves at the expense of your mental, emotional, and even physical health.Yeshua told us to love our neighbor as we love ourselves. That lovingourselves is about self-care. If we don’t take care of ourselves, we get toogrumpy to show love to other people. Or we do it with resentment.

Writing novels to please the Lord?

The first novel I wrote (TheEnvelope, in case you didn’t know), I wrote hoping to get tradpublished, hoping that would lead to a writing career that would allow me toleave my teaching job. Several dozen rejection letters and years later,self-publishing on Amazon became a thing, and I decided to self-publish thatbook and other novels in order to augment our investment income (we “retired”in our early forties).

By the time it became evident about seven years ago that theself-pub gig wasn’t nearly as lucrative as the lying online marketing gurusmake it seem, I’d developed a small following who seemed, by their reviews, tobe waiting with baited breath for my next book. So I made the decision tocontinue writing novels. Not so much for the money, but to encourage the womenreading them. I’d make sure to include messages that would inspire the readersalong their faith journey. I’d do it to serve my fellow man.

A-hem, woman.

Even though (IMHO) my stories weren’t the greatest.

Even though I was incredibly bored with writing romances.

Even though the process stressed me to the extent that Iwould get snippety at my husband and son while I was crafting a story.

Even though, by five years ago, writing had begun to feellike a job.

And not just any job. One of those tedious jobs full ofdrudgery that people desperately try to leave.

But I kept at it.

Because I was supposed to serve God by serving others withmy talents and time.

Can I give you a hint? No one needs to read novels. Especially romance. Even if they’re clean.

Even if they’re Christian.

If you enjoy reading novels (I do, as long as they’re notwritten by AI), if you enjoy writingnovels, there’s nothing wrong with that. But entertaining is not the same as serving. And the fact that people thinkotherwise these days shows me how twisted our thinking has become, thanks totechnology and convenience.

The real way to serve.

In 1 Thessalonians, the apostle Paul wrote,…" and to make it your ambition to lead a quiet life: You should mindyour own business and work with your hands...[4:11]”

If you go through the Gospels, you will see evidence thatYeshua lived as simple a life as He could. He tried to lead a quiet life, butexcited people whom He had healed wouldn’t keep quiet. Except for the religiousleaders, He never got into anyone’s business, nor did He scold anyone for notdoing enough.

Instead, He gave His followers a template.

èHavefaith in God.

èLoveothers where they are.

èDoonto others as they want others to do to them.

èLivehumbly.

èDon’tfocus on money and material wealth.

èShowkindness.

My realization.

As Christians, we’re supposed to be in the world, not of it,but Christianity has become entangled with the unnecessary complications ofmodern society.

I finally realized, though I cannot untangle everyone else,I can untangle myself.

So I am no longer self-publishing novels.

This isn’t about burnout. It’s about recognizing the seasonof life I’m in. About sensing what God is truly calling me to.

Yeshua said that His yoke was easy, His burden is light. "Burden" is an apt word for how writing novels for self-publication has felt for me during the past few years.

Maybe even for the past decade. 

How this decision is changing my life.

I suddenly have three more hours in my day. Three hours to:

Learn new things.Read other people’s novels.Get into arts and crafts, which I mostly dropped once I’dhit junior high.Talk to my husband.Pray. Write a poem.Or song lyrics.Write a blog post. Support a favorite YouTuber by watching their video.Keep house.

None of these things cause stress. And yet, they all providesome sort of service.

They are service to my husband and son directly, because Ihave more time to take care of their home now.

They are a service to them indirectly, because if Mama ain’thappy, ain’t nobody happy.

And I have not been happy pushing myself to write four tosix novels in a year in order to complete a series.

And the relaxed lifestyle affords me a lot more headspace tokeep my focus on God, and to remember to pray for those who come across mypath.

For the first time in years, I feel like I’m really living.

If you’re a Christian and you’ve begun questioning the wayyou’ve been told you’re “supposed” to serve, or have become caught up in thatnasty “time-talent-treasure” doctrine, pay attention to the questioning. Itjust might be God speaking to you.

Even if it isn’t, He won’t love you – or like you – any lessfor taking care of yourself. 

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