me, having robbed one million dollars from the bank: ‘The bank stole a million dollars from me! they’re framing me by accusing me of what they did! it’s my money, I was trying to deposit it!

a million dumbasses who think ‘the truth is always in the middle’ flying to my rescue: ‘these are both extreme points of view, the truth is probably that no money was stolen by anyone, or maybe only a few dollars was stolen’

the jury at my trial: NOT GUILTY