I’ve got a secret. Many of us have them, and some are better at keeping them than others. I find more and more that people keep secrets, and I never understood the reason for keeping them, especially from your friends. Granted, we all have thoughts and memories that we may not want to share with others, but some of these secrets can weigh us down and be harmful for you to keep holding on to.
The psychological effects of keeping secrets can include depression and anxiety to lower relationship satisfaction and poor physical health. It’s not just you.

There are real reasons why secrets can be so stressful. Holding on to secrets goes beyond not saying something to prevent harm. It goes deeper. Instead, secrets take up space and time in our minds, taking our attention and keeping us from focusing on other things to look after. To really understand the effects of keeping a secret, we have to first what it means when you keep a secret. For example, you wouldn’t want to disclose information to others that could be embarrassing for you, but if you’re keeping a secret from someone like a major purchase, that secret will weigh heavily on your mind and could even cause you guilt because you are not telling others about it.

The guilt you feel at keeping this secret will reveal itself in other ways and taint your relationships. It’s better to be open and honest with others. the psychological effects of keeping secrets include depression and anxiety to lower relationship satisfaction and poor physical health. It’s not just youThere are real reasons why secrets can be so stressful. Holding on to secrets goes beyond not saying something to prevent harm. It goes deeper. Instead, secrets take up space and time in our minds, taking our attention and keeping us from focusing on other things to look after are real reasons why secrets can be so stressful. The problem isn’t so much the act of keeping secrets. Instead, our distress lies in repeatedly thinking about information we’re trying to conceal. People who spend more time ruminating about their secrets tended to experience worse physical and emotional well-being. As our mind wanders, secrets “begin to consume our mental and emotional energy. The guilt and shame we feel can lead to a deep sense of fear of what others would think if the secret was revealed.

Fear also has a big role in creating feelings of shame because we often play out the worst-case scenarios of what might happen if the other person finds out our secret. When it comes to secrets, shame and guilt tend to prompt different reactions. Let’s say a friend pulls you aside at a gathering and asks you not to tell anyone that they’re buying a new house. Afterward, another friend approaches you to find out if everything is okay.

Even though this secret isn’t harming anyone, you might experience shame because you’re withholding information and “potentially upsetting someone who wants to know, but if your friend had sworn you to secrecy, you might feel guilty, knowing that you’re participating in their deceit.

We’re more likely to become preoccupied with secrets that evoke shame because they can slowly take away our sense of self and lead to feelings of worthlessness. Feeling guilty about a secret, on the other hand, allows us space to make different choices. While it can be difficult to move past feelings of disgrace and powerlessness, which can include feeling shame, wishing that we had done something differently; meaning, feeling guilty, can help you move forward in a way that aligns with your values.

Sometimes, we keep secrets out of habit and not necessarily because they can ruin our relationships. Try not to put yourself in a position that requires you to keep harmful secrets from others. It might be necessary to set a boundary with people whose secrets are making you uncomfortable. It’s okay to tell a friend who keeps confiding in you that you don’t want to discuss certain topics, but if you find that secrets are impacting your well-being, consider speaking with someone who can help you process the information. You can also try journaling about your feelings. So, as long as your intention isn’t to feel better at someone else’s expense, sharing a secret with someone you trust can ease your sense of isolation. That is what is meant to be . You don’t have to carry the burden on your own.