The enemy will send a counterfeit ahead of a breakthrough in your life. This can be in any area of your life including romantic relationships. I have honestly fell for the words, the affection and the attention that has come my way in the last four years. I’ve had to really be cognizant and discerning of what’s coming into my life. I was craving attention because of the neglect in my previous marriage. Not in a bad way of finding it at all costs, but in a non-discerning way because I allowed it instead of paying attention due to wanting affection.

What lie am I believing?

Ask the Lord to reveal, why am I letting a counterfeit into my life? My reasoning behind it is that I’m not believing the Lord will do it. The area of romantic relationships has been plundered by the enemy, especially because I was raised to believe I needed a man in order to succeed in life. Marriage is a beautiful thing and something I believe wholeheartedly in, but it won’t solve your problems. A successful relationship brings the Kingdom to earth, and it doesn’t compromise, confuse or delay. We can go out and try to fulfill the innermost parts of our being with others, but until we fully surrender our lives, we will operate at half the capacity of the calling on our lives.

Who you partner with in this area is so important. One of the things the Lord highlighted to me, was that this person couldn’t go where I was going. We weren’t on the same path. The Lord also highlighted to me Daniel 2:22 “He reveals deep and hidden things; he knows what lies in darkness, and light dwells with him.” When the Lord removes someone, it’s because He can see what’s hidden in their hearts (and in yours). He knows if someone is for your good or not. There can be many reasons God removes someone from your life. One of the biggest reasons has been character issues. If the person you’re with doesn’t have the same character or same character standards as you, God will remove them. You want someone who matches you in character and strength.

I’ve also believed the lie that God doesn’t care about affection for me, and my sex life when it comes to romantic relationships and marriage. This last relationship really showed me the importance of friendship. And that was the void it filled – having a friend who I could talk to about anything. Nothing was off limits. Sometimes we place people in the spot of God which is called an idol, and that isn’t good either for the parties involved. We should never place a person on a pedestal because eventually they fall. We all fall short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23) and thank goodness we have a Savior who picks us up by the bootstraps, dusts us off and says start again each day. His mercies are new each day (Lamentations 3:22-23) and I’m so incredibly grateful.

The woman at the well

I’ve often pondered the woman at the well, a half-bred (Samaritan and Jew), who was married multiple times. So many people focus on her past and have used this story against so many women. I often look at the encounter she had with the Lord at the well. He knew her whole story… from broken, thirsty for water, to the first evangelist telling her town about the man she met. The man who knew exactly where she would be that day and knew she needed living water. Water that would quiche the thirst for love. She too had looked for love in all the wrong places and had to be married in order to survive. How often do we preach this message because we think that if we can explain it in our human way we can justify the judgement against her? She knew she was sinner and hopeless, but she left that well filled with love, hope and excitement. That love, hope and excitement is what led her to telling everyone about Jesus because of one encounter.

I’ll never forget watching the Chosen in 2021 and getting to that episode where he meets her at the well. The woman who played her did a phenomenal job. I was sitting in my home by myself in the middle of a divorce and the Lord quietly said to my spirit, ‘if I used her for my glory why can’t I use you?’ Tears started to run down my face… so broken, unqualified, and doubting everything in my life. Here I was in the middle of what is deemed failure by the worlds and the churches standards, but not the standards of my Savior. Nothing is too big for him to overcome.

What if we lived our lives in such a way that we extended the love, hope and excitement of Jesus to others that they too wanted to know his love? It would change the world and that is exactly what the woman at the well did after her amazing Yeshua encounter.

High Sex Drives

The ‘church’ has done a terrible job of explaining sex, its intentions and why boundaries are important. We’ve lived with shame for too long from the purity culture and the wrong messaging has infiltrated pulpits. One thing the church does when explaining this is to always place the sex drive on the husband. What do you do when the wife has a higher sex drive? There is no one to turn to and explain ‘Hey I really like sex and would like to have that in my marriage, but my husband won’t have sex with me.’ No one explains how porn affects sex lives, how previous sin and soul ties create chaos in marriage, or how women can be designed to have a high sex drive. When I say there is no one to talk to… there is no one to talk to. This led me to making bad decisions against myself just to make me desirable to my husband.

This lie is finally changing and why are we speaking about sex drives in a devotional? Because it goes along with the counterfeit. The enemy sent me someone with a high sex drive who wanted to make me happy (eventually – we were good and kept a boundary there). But it broke my heart because I have prayed for a man/husband who would actually want me. Having a husband who barely touches you will break your heart especially if one of your love languages is physical touch. We are humans with real needs and God created each of us uniquely. Regardless of the outcome, I still pray for a man who will want to be with me and want to make me happy. There is nothing wrong with the desires of your heart. What can be wrong is placing the desire in front of someone who doesn’t deserve to know these things about you.

As you consider the counterfeit relationships in your life, ask the Holy Spirit to reveal to you where you are believing a lie. This lie is allowing you to compromise instead of standing tall knowing your God will answer your prayers.

Questions to ponderHow do you recognize a counterfeit? Is there peace? Do they lead to confusion or create chaos?What need was the romantic relationship trying to fill? What have you placed in front of the Lord in your life? It can be anything, but have you idolized a person in front of the Lord? Ask him to show you who.Is there a deep need inside the innermost being of your heart? If so, how is a counterfeit trying to fill that need? There are no wrong answers. What scripture do you need to apply to your situation? Ask the Lord to bring it light. He will reveal His words for your journey.

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