I completed 48 years on this earth. This year, I thought I would share all the lessons that life (and social media) taught me in the last 4+ decades. What better way to celebrate my birthday than spreading gyan? So here goes the learning:

Getting old is a blessing. Most people are afraid of getting old, but I love it. The wisdom and clarity that come with age are precious. I feel so sorted as I age. Zero pretense and zero tolerance for BS.Snake and Ladder: Life is like a game of snakes and ladders. Today, you may be at the top of the world, and tomorrow, you may be in a ditch. Therefore, do not take anything for granted, appreciate all the good things in life, always count your blessings, and stay grounded.Gratitude: I maintain a gratitude journal. Gratitude is the key to ultimate peace and happiness. This practice changed my life and made me a happier person. In many of my previous posts, I have emphasized gratitude.Mudita: I’ve always been able to connect deeply with others’ pain, maybe because I’m an empath. But I used to struggle with fully sharing in someone else’s joy; envy and insecurity would sometimes creep in. Lately, I’ve been consciously practicing Mudita . It is finding joy in others’ happiness. Practicing this has helped me let go off negativity. I have experienced more joyful days myself.Help Selflessly: Some people help expecting favors, credit, or lifelong loyalty in return. My philosophy is simple: help selflessly, with no expectations. Don’t worry, good karma gets credited.Ubuntu: The idea of uplifting others has given my life purpose. Ten years ago, I started a patient support group, and today, it’s one of my greatest sources of strength. Helping others without expecting anything in return brings me a truly unmatched joy.Sharanam: A Buddhist concept meaning surrender or taking refuge. In life, we often believe we’re in control, but in reality, most things lie beyond our grasp. Therefore, rather than resisting, we should surrender and allow life to unfold as it will.Sabr: Islamic, Sikh, and Sai Baba devotees use the word Sabr/Sabar/Saburi . It means patience in the process of God. I used to want immediate results, but now I trust the process and wait.Mindfulness: Thích Nhất Hạnh, spoke about “mindfulness” as the central practice for living in the present moment. Most of us are either regretting the past or planning the future. Very few live in the moment. These days, I consciously try to live in the present. My meditation practice is helping me in doing that.Find Happiness: Happiness doesn’t come on a platter. You have to work hard in some cases to find happiness. Life will dishearten you more, so it is your job to find happiness even in the sad moments. When you feel sad, just try to do something that makes you happy, it could be watching Netflix, reading a book, going for a walk, calling a friend etcDo more of the things that make you happy: Find and do things that make you happy. For me, it is reading, yoga, meditation, swimming, Netflix, a coffee date with friends, and spending time with my son.Yoga: I started learning yoga during lockdown when I was 42 years old. Fell in love with it. I am not really a poster girl of yoga like Malaika Arora but I enjoy yoga as much as she does (only never manage a figure like her.)Meditation: Once I started yoga, meditation was an organic addition. I also did a retreat in Dharamshala. This has given me calmness and clarity in life. I look forward to meditating.No age to learn new things: I started learning yoga, meditation, swimming, crochet, and AI after turning 40. These new things give me immense joy and happiness. I wish to continue doing them.Swimming: As a child, I never got the opportunity to learn how to swim. As an adult, I never learned to swim as I was hesitant about wearing a swimming costume. But then I gave up my inhibition and took up swimming, and now I love it.Travel: I love to travel and I believe traveling taught me a lot about life. When you are young, it is easier to explore. So start traveling early. I spend a lot of my time and money into travelling but I should call it an investment rather than expense.Practice Minimalism: I am a firm believer in keeping only those things and people in my life that “spark joy”. A clutter-free space and mind bring mental peace. I extend the philosophy of minimalism to every aspect of my life.Buy Experiences: Instead of binge shopping, I spend on travel, movies, good food, activities, and theaters. I don’t waste money on designer stuff. I buy new things only after discarding the older items. Hoard Books: Even though, I believe in minimalism, when it comes to books, I am still a maximalist. And I am unapologetic about the same.Routine: Having a routine helps me stay productive. I write a to-do list every day and that keeps me productive or else, my day feels chaotic and unproductive. I get done a lot with a to-do list.Have Friends: Having friends has been a blessing for me. Staying connected to my old friends keeps me grounded, as they know me like nobody else. They are part of my identity. There was a time when I avoided making new friends. However, now I meet new people. Not everyone is like-minded; nevertheless, I try to observe them. In many cases, I am learning new things from these people.Friendship Boundaries: Not everyone is meant to be a close friend. I think of friendship as something like the solar system. There are just a few in the inner circle. As the circles widen, the numbers grow, but most are mere acquaintances. True friends have your back, regardless of age, status, or background. I steer clear of those who drain my energy, show up only when they need something, gossip, criticize, or bring negativity. Keep your circle clean.Connect with loved ones: Always keep connections with the people who love you and with people whom you love. Call and keep in touch with good people.Parents or elders are not Gods: In India, we have a tradition to worship our elders, especially parents as deities. Criticizing your parents or elders is considered taboo and a sin. However, parents and elders can be toxic. They can be selfish and may even ruin your life. So don’t obey or worship them blindly.Trust your gut instincts: If something or someone feels not right, avoid. Often, your body is more intuitive than your mind. So if someone’s presence makes you physically uncomfortable, trust your body and run.Stay calm in stressful situations or in front of people who induce stressNever scream, shout, or abuse during any argument. The calmer you can stay during an argument, the better. Ask questions during any argument, and that makes the other person nervous. This is difficult but extremely effective. Be a Tommy Shelby. Listen more and speak less. Wise people listen more and fools speak more.Observe: Wisdom comes when you observe. The more you observe, the more you will see patterns, and this will improve your intuition. I can write an entire blog on the power of listening and observing.Ask questions: As a shy child, I always hesitated to ask questions. In my school, college, workplace, any seminar, everywhere I was afraid to ask questions. I was always impressed of people who asked questions. But now, I never hesitate and always ask question, even if it seems dumb.Don’t chase: Don’t waste your life chasing romance or money. Rather, chase a purpose and a mission.List of dreams: Always have a list of dreams that you wish to achieve, and work on them. Having a written list helps you stay focused. Marry the right person: Marriage is an important milestone. A good marriage will build you, while a bad marriage will ruin you. Therefore, think it through before getting married.Money can buy happiness: Many people believe that money can’t buy happiness. Yes, it cannot directly buy you happiness but it can buy you the tools to happiness. It can buy you comfort. It can buy you books, movie tickets, air tickets for travel, OTT subscriptions, Uber fare, etc etc. So try to earn well.Separate account: Have a separate bank account after marriage. I have seen many women, including those who earn in six/seven figures, not having their own money because they kept every penny in joint account with husband. I have a friend who literally had zero money after divorce because she ran a business with her husband and she trusted him blindly and everything was in his name.Financial Independence: The moment you financially depend on someone, they get the power to control you. Unless you have extremely indulgent parents or a spouse, try to start earning as soon as you can. I started earning the moment I turned 18 years old and never took any kind of pocket money from my Dad.Save: Start saving also early and don’t spend all your money. It is always wise to save before spending. A penny saved is a penny earned. Invest: Earlier, I used to only save money but never invest. However, now I am learning how to invest and grow my money. Most women are good at saving money but bad at investing. I think most schools should teach investment as a compulsory subject.Know your worth: Don’t seek validation from others. People are often stingy with appreciation, especially if you are surrounded by narcissists. So know your own worth.Don’t change yourself for anyone, be it the society, relatives, spouse, partner, friend anyone. I made the mistake of changing myself to please others, but in doing so I made myself so unhappy. So now my philosophy is take it or leave it, I am what I am.You cannot make everyone happy, so focus on making yourself happy.Avoid Takers: For years, I had tolerated people who were only takers and never gave anything. They called me only when they needed something. Not necessarily anything material, but sometimes emotional.Everyone is struggling: Social media often makes us feel that everyone is happy. However, the truth is that everyone is struggling in their own way. Someone is struggling financially, someone health-wise, while someone emotionally.Inner Beauty: I have struggled with my looks all my life. I grew up believing that happiness is only for pretty girls. I internalized this so much that I developed extremely low self-esteem that impacted my career and relationships. However, now I know external beauty is useless. Confidence in yourself brings out the inner beauty. So don’t waste time trying to fix your looks, just be your authentic self and see how everything unfolds.Don’t try to change someone: We often try to change another person. We believe that we can change another person with our love. However, you cannot change anyone. So accept a person exactly the way they are. Don’t try to fix others, judge others, or change them. Accept Solitude: You were born alone and you will die alone. So, don’t cling to anybody and accept being alone. You are lucky if you find people when you need them. Self-reliant: Don’t expect anyone to come and rescue you. Be self-reliant and rescue yourself. Try to not depend on others as much as possible. I try to do as much as possible on my own. Spread love: If you are seeking love, start spreading love.

I have had challenges in life, but I overcame those and survived 48 years. I tried to learn a lesson from each of my challenges. Whatever little I have learned in life, I have shared with you all. Let me know what you feel are your learning?