I was diagnosed with endometriosis in my late twenties and the treatment that finally provided relief was a combination of hormones that simulate menopause. Many medical professionals assured me everything would be better once I had kids, disregarding my assertion that that wasn’t part of my plan. I figured eventually I could give up the hormones since I would enter menopause by 50 but that hasn’t happened…and for a while I had endo pain alongside hot flashes, which made no sense whatsoever since one feeds on estrogen and the other is caused by a lack of estrogen.

Now I’ve switched from the Pill to a patch and the day after its application I get the worst migraine. Everything’s a trade-off, it seems. I wanted an apartment in Hyde Park; found one I could afford, got a low interest rate, fixed it up, made it beautiful, and now I’m ready to move on…been in IL for five years but don’t see a future in Chicago, can’t find another affordable big city, and the country’s going downhill faster than expected. Apparently this atrocious bill the Republicans passed recently slashes not just Medicaid but also subsidies for those of us buying health insurance through Obamacare. My bronze plan is already pretty awful but I may not even be able to afford something comparable next year. So what to do? Move just a few years after I finally committed to US citizenship in 2021? I can cast absentee ballots from abroad, I guess, and hope my vote gets counted. Retirement is a ways off, though I suspect Social Security won’t be solvent by the time I reach my 60s. Clearly I’m not feeling too optimistic. I need another republic with universal healthcare and affordable rent. Can’t afford Ireland and might need a bit more sunshine, though I’m not a tropical girl. How to be an ethical expat…

I spent quite a bit of time looking into French visas this week. It’s the only language I can speak besides English and I have Huguenot ancestry that might be fun to explore. The LeBers and LeCordiers didn’t get too far, fleeing religious persecution in France by settling in the Channel Islands before migrating to Canada. LeBer is German in origin so I could do some research in Alsace…or choose a place in the south of France that isn’t likely to catch fire every summer. Canada’s wildfires are why Chicago had the worst air quality in the world for a couple of days last week. Can’t outrun the climate crisis but I could go over to France as a tourist, spend a few weeks touring the country, and then decide if I want to apply for a long-stay visa. Maybe see if any publishers are interested in the foreign rights to my books. Hope that my basic French skills improve rapidly!

Chani says Monday is one of the most auspicious days of the year. Don’t think my new novel is going to be ready by then but she said you can also just write down some intentions or dreams…I’m growing pansies and morning glories from seeds this summer and got my first bloom last week. Not sure if the pansies will ever bloom but I enjoy tending to them every day. It’s not the eventual harvest that matters most…I just want to give them—and myself—everything we need to grow and thrive.