Since my book launch, pages have turned, sales have simmered, and bookbindings have remained stuck. Nothing horrible or unexpected has happened. Andyet, there are still many deplorables in my book publishing and marketingbasket—the worst part is gaining email subscribers for my newsletter. I’vefound the job akin to herding cats inside a David Lynch movie produced bypersnickety sudoku enthusiasts. Why is it so hard?

I decided to seek advice from David Lynch himself, surreal filmmakerextraordinaire. David’s film credits include Blue Velvet and Twin Peaks. He hassince passed. RIP Mr. Lynch. But you didn’t think I was serious, anyway, right?

Here’s what he had to say: 😊

“Sharon, if you take away nothing else from our imaginary Zoomcorrespondence, remember, when in doubt, talk backward.”

 “esaelP, lliw uoy ebircsbus ot ym liame tsil?” I repeat very slowlyto Mr. Lynch.

“No thanks,” he says. “But here’s another tip: When you send yournewsletter, include an insane soundtrack to keep potential subscribers on edge.You know, unstable even.”

“I’m not sure if that will help me. But I can try Nirvana or Metallica,and maybe include a link for spotify in my next newsletter.”

“Great. Sarah, that’s your name, right? People like a good mystery. Tellpeople they may be signing up for a Sears credit card or your email list, butthey won’t know which one—keep it cagey.”

“Okay, Mr. Lynch.”

“Sharon, here’s another gem: when you ask for new subscribers, make yourquestioning extremely difficult to follow. Keep potential subscribers on theirtoes. Make the tone weird, bizarre even. You know, switch it up. I like to usethe word “discomforting” to describe my approach; maybe this feeling can helpyou, too. Do you understand me?”

“Yes, Mr. Lynch. I already feel slightly uncomfortable.”

“Good. Hey, Simone, I’ve got to go. I’m having lunch with an elephant anda coal miner. Goodbye.”

“This is going to be more difficult than I thought.”

knahT uoy rof gnidaer!

In other words,

THANK YOU FOR READING!

My August newsletter hits inboxes next week! 

"I discovered that if one looks a little closer at this beautiful world, there are always red ants underneath." ~ David Lynch