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Jim is a friend who recently tipped me off that he’ll be with us in Chicago, along with another friend of his whom I’ve never met. The Chicago game with friends is coming up on September 1st, and we depart in the VW on August 28th. You’ll start seeing a lot more from us during the trip itself!

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Earlier this year, Jim and I caught a game in Phoenix: Diamondbacks versus the Tampa Bay Rays. We had originally planned to attend a Spring Training game earlier, but both of us are busy, and scheduling was a problem. As I drove toward the little open-air ballpark, the absolute deluge — hurricane-esque winds and all — assailed my vehicle, and it dawned on me that this attempt was not going to pan out. We rescheduled well in advance at Chase Field, where neither wind, nor rain, nor a temperature of 118 can stop you from watching baseball.

I showed up early, as I often do, and spotted my young buddy Mason, whom I had met on Opening Day. He and I both had a smattering of Rays cards with us. Jim was headed my way on the local rail, so I hung out with Mason by the dugout for a while. At Chase Field, you have hardly any chance to engage with the D-Backs during the time you’re allowed inside, but you can catch the visiting team’s practice. I’m not a huge Rays fan, but I did want to get a signed card of former Cubbie Christopher Morel (who had been traded away for third baseman Isaac Paredes at the end of 2024) and planned to send any others over to Anna DiTomasso of the Baseball Bucket List podcast. She’s the only Rays fan I know! I got three cards signed during practice, but no luck on Morel. Jim texted that he was at the gate, so my autograph time had come to a close.

What I love about Jim is how immediately arresting he is in conversation. He is such a creative guy, and his mind runs at another level compared to the rest of us. He hadn’t been to a game in some time, though he used to be a fan of the Rangers and Rockies. To prepare, he’d done some AI reports on the teams and the rule updates to the sport. He was beyond ready to engage on multiple topics. Once we ordered up some specialty city-themed hot dogs (I got the Cuban, with ham, pickle, and mustard — a surprise favorite for the year thus far!), we jumped right in.

My favorite conversation we had was about friendship. Jim and I are both leaders in churches with young attendees. We share a common experience: people leave. People leave your church, and they leave your life. In most cases, when people are young, they hit a life transition that moves them away from college communities such as ours, and off to the place where they plan to lay down roots. Sometimes the leaving is for other reasons all leaders understand: when people are unhappy with you or your organization. Jim admitted to me that he sometimes withholds from deep relationships because of the high likelihood they won’t last. I can totally relate.

Jim, though, is rarely content to give up hope and concede defeat in the face of a creative possibility. He told me about a ritual he’s created to press against his desire to distance himself, especially when he learns someone is about to move away. He invites them over for dinner and creates a unique recipe just for them, one that reminds him of their best characteristics. There might be a salty-but-sweet dessert, as a way of remembering that he experienced their opinions first but learned to love them for their heart. He might include a regional sauce, to bring to mind the stories they would tell about their childhood home. In doing this, he gave his and their families a way to recall the best things about one another, and he made their last meal together extra memorable and special.

One thing I’ve been pondering is the fact that friendships often change along with our lives — and sometimes they even come to an end. For many things in life, we have a ceremony that brings closure, but for friendships we often don’t. Jim is one of the few people I know who does, and his report is that it’s deeply meaningful and helps process the change with gratitude.

Thank you, Jim, for rescheduling and for sharing your amazing ideas and recipes for meaningful relationships with friends like me!

After the game, I strolled over toward the dugout, where Chris Morel was being interviewed after hitting the game-winning homer. He took the time to sign for the few remaining fans, and I got my limited-edition Topps card (from a giveaway game at Wrigley) signed by the beloved former Cubbie. Morel was a player with a great smile and personality. Kids loved him. He isn’t on the Cubs anymore, but he’ll forever be part of my experience as a fan.

Like Morel, every person who has ever been part of my life still is, even if they’ve moved on or moved away. I want to learn to reflect on that in meaningful ways, like Jim does, in the hope that our reunions might be sweet.

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Friendship, Change, and Ritual was originally published in 2,000 Miles to Wrigley on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.