You stop calling the police after a while, d’yer know worrimean? What’s the point? Either they don’t come at all, or by the time they turn up, the bloody thing’s gone to ground.

They think we’re daft enough up here as it is, up at Longwood. Normal for Longwood – NFL. That’s what the doctors write on your clipboard at the hospital. It means they think you’re either mental, or thick.

So, yeah, you don’t call the police. You just learn to live with it. Well, you have to, don’t you, know worri...