We’ve all heard the phrase “Don’t get your hopes up.”

It’s often said with good intentions—as a way to protect ourselves from disappointment. But here’s the thing we often miss: Hope is not a weakness. Hope is a skill. And in today’s world, it’s one of the most powerful coping tools we can teach our children.

The Importance of Hope For Mental Health

Mental health is the foundation of a happy, balanced life. Just as we care for our bodies, we have to nurture our minds and emotions.

When we face challenges, having effective coping mechanisms and knowing how to find hope in hard times can make all the difference. Unhealthy coping mechanisms can often make us feel worse instead of better. Knowing how to help our brains and bodies processes stress and emotions empowers us. We are able to develop more effective coping strategies that help us grow.

No matter how old you are or what you are going through, prioritizing mental health is essential. Taking care of your mental health is not just important. It’s vital for living a fulfilling, healthy life.

Understanding Coping Mechanisms

Coping mechanisms are the strategies we use to handle stress, anxiety, and life’s inevitable challenges. There are many different coping styles. Some people use problem-focused coping, tackling issues head-on with practical solutions. Others rely on emotion-focused coping, like finding ways to soothe and regulate their feelings. Social coping, which involves reaching out for social support from friends, family, or a mental health professional, is another powerful approach.

Coping mechanisms are personal—what works for one person may not work for another. By exploring different coping strategies and understanding your own needs, you can find the right tools to help you manage stress, nurture healthy relationships, and maintain a positive perspective on life.

What Are Hoping Skills?

Hoping Skills™ are just as important as coping skills. These intentional habits help us stay anchored in possibility—even in difficult times. Just like we teach kids how to tie their shoes, ride a bike, or count to ten when they’re upset, we can also teach them to practice hope.

Coping skills help us when we are already experiencing difficult emotions. Hoping skills remind us that our current situation is temporary and that things can and will get better. Hope isn’t just a feeling you have or don’t have. It’s something you do. It’s a skill you can grow.

Hoping Skills include:

Looking for the good (even when it’s hard to find)Setting small goals that lead to big changeAsking for help without shameRemembering past victoriesPracticing kindness (for yourself and others)Reframing failure as progressBelieving that better is possible—even if you can’t see it yetEngaging in hopeful thinking and focusing on positive outcomes

These skills and coping mechanisms don’t erase pain. They equip people to manage stress and move through it with resilience.

Why Hope Is Essential for Emotional Well Being

As a mental health professional, I’ve seen firsthand how hopelessness creeps into our hearts and minds. In a world that feels heavy and uncertain, hope can feel out of reach. We have to teach kids (and adults) the tools they need to process hard emotions. Coping strategies and hoping skills help us see the present moment for what it is as recognize that challenging situations aren’t forever.

Hoping skills can be a part of our daily routines. With practice, we learn to shift our perspective and to see hope in hard situations. Even a small spark of hope can shift everything. Hope gives kids something to move toward, something to hold onto. Hope gives us something to believe in when the world feels too big, too loud, or too broken.

That’s why hoping skills are not just feel-good fluff.
They are mental health essentials.

Using Hope to Manage Stress and Anxiety

Simple techniques like deep breathing and progressive muscle relaxation can help calm your mind and body. Physical activity, whether it’s a walk around the block or a favorite sport, can also help manage stress and boost your mood.

Combining those physical actions with the power of hope, helps shift the attention away from your worries toward what could be. You could use mindfulness to notice what is good around you. You could also use the power of visualization to imagine how it will feel when you’ve overcome your current problem or obstacle. These small shifts help us find calm in the midst of chaos. Glimmers of hope can provide comfort and reassurance when you need it most.

How to Teach Kids Hoping Skills

Here are a few simple ways to integrate hope and resilience into your family’s daily life:

Start a “Hope Journal” – Write down one good thing each day, no matter how small.
Use the Hope Meter™ – Ask your child to rate their hope level and discuss ways to refill it.
Set a “Hope Goal” – Choose something to look forward to each week. If it is something they will need to work toward to make happen, help them break the bigger goal into steps.
Model Hope Out Loud – Let your child hear you say things like “Today was hard, but I know it won’t always be this way. I believe that tomorrow will be better.”
Read and talk about characters who choose hope – After reading the story, ask: “What helped them keep going?” or “When did they start to feel hopeless? What changed their perspective?”

Add Hoping Skills to Your Bookshelf This Fall

Hope In the Nick of Time, the third book in the In the Nick of Time series will be out on September 30th! This time, Nick Saint is on a trip through New York City. Unfortunately, nothing seems to be going his way. He learns how to find hope in the face of disappointment and frustration. Through this warm, empowering story, kids will see hoping skills in action, woven through a magical holiday adventure filled with heart.

The future belongs to children who know how to hope. Let’s make sure they have the tools. Preorder your copy of Hope In the Nick of Time today.

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