Saturday Snippet: That There Advert, It’s a Right Hoot

Saturday Snippet: I Might Have Laughed

Saturday Snippet: That There Advert, It’s a Right Hoot

Today's Saturday Snippet is taken from

Mail-Order Barber

Mail-Order Husbands-Hopeful Husbands, Book 29

by Zina Abbott

...“Excuse me, sir, but do you mind if I take a quick look at your newspaper?”

The man spun around and eyed Bairdlike he was something found at the bottom of a trash barrel. “Not finished withit yet.”

“I’m not asking to have it. If youdon’t mind, I’d like to read a few headlines to see if it would be worthwhileto buy my own copy.” Baird pushed his spectacles higher on his nose.

The man’s gaze shifted from Baird’seyeglasses, to the shirt he wore that needed a good scrubbing, to the glass ofsarsaparilla. “Yeah, you can take a look-see until I’m ready to go. Just makesure you don’t walk off with it.”

“Thanks.” Baird picked up thenewssheet and began to peruse the headlines. Like most editions he’d read, theadvertisements were intermingled among the articles—as if the editor used themto fill the empty spaces in each column. He turned the paper to the insidepages and then took another sip of the drink that reminded him of licorice andmanaged to be both sweet and bitter at the same time.

“Look for the advert for a barber totake over a shop. Too high an asking price, as far as I’m concerned.” The manon the opposite side of Baird chuckled as he tapped the paper. Then he lifted afull glass of beer to his lips.

Annoyed about the man possibly tearingor wrinkling the borrowed newspaper—which might cause trouble with the owner—Bairdturned toward him with a furrowed brow. Then the words struck his awareness. Barber to take over a shop? “What do youmean, too high of a price?”

“What I said.” The man drank anotherswig of his beer. “From what I recollect, a barber up in Columbia got himselfkilled about a month ago. My guess is, the advert is by the widow looking for anew husband.” He turned to look Baird full in the face. “You remember that? Itwas all the talk for a week or so. Wasn’t even his fight. Now, I couldunderstand someone trying to hold the gent up while he still had his deposit onhim. But, he was walking home from the assay office and the bank when he gotcaught in the crossfire.”

“First I’ve heard about it. I don’tget to town all that often.” Baird turned his gaze back to the page. “Now she’sadvertising for a new husband?” He began to focus on the smaller advertisements,the ones that looked like personals.

“Yep. Got to be able to cut hair,though. Either that, or if a man’s a silver-tongued devil, maybe he canconvince her she don’t need a barber to remarry. Me, I don’t like the partsabout it being a marriage of convenience and her already having a brat.”

“Most widows do already have a childor two.” As he searched, Baird tamped down his annoyance at the man’sself-serving attitude. He finally found it at the bottom of the second page. Heread it twice. “Reputable widow withchild…” He wondered how old the child was. For that matter, how old was thewidow? She could be twenty-five, or she could be forty. “…marriage of convenience to last up to ten years…” He blinked. That is enough to make a man pause.

Like many men who had not allowedtheir character and sense of morals to sink to that less than most animals, if Bairdever did wed, he preferred a fully committed marriage with a family-mindedwife—not one who planned to end things within a matter of years.

Baird continued reading. “…must be willing to train widow’s son tosomeday take over his father’s barber business.” He shook his head. Ifthere was any part of that advertisement designed to make the entire prospectunappealing, that was it. Why on earth would any man wish to work at a businesshe did not own—would not even eventually own—in order to train someone’s son toone day take over?

“That there advert, it’s a right hoot, ain’t it?” The saloon patron on Baird’s right offered another chuckle. “Newwidow or not, can’t believe some woman was addlebrained enough to put out anoffer like that.”

Baird turned in time to see the manshake his head as he lifted his beer glass to his lips. “I don’t know that sheis the one who placed the advertisement in the newspaper. It ends with 'Interested parties please respond to M.Delaney, Esq., Columbia Post Office.' Isn’t e-s-q short for esquire, thetitle lawyers call themselves by?”

The beer-drinker shrugged. “Don’tknow. Never had no use for the likes.”

The thought did prompt Baird toconsider the advertisement in a new light. Whoever this woman was, she wasbeing guided by an attorney. He again read the requirements—including the specific manner of man—she sought forthe marriage of convenience. “…anexperienced barber in exchange for his use of established barber shop,equipment, and living quarters.” He leaned back and wiped his palm acrosshis mouth. I qualify.

My most recent release, Mail Order Barber, is the final book in the Hopeful Husband's series. It is currently available as an ebook for purchase or at no additional cost with a Kindle Unlimited subscription. To find the book description and purchase options, please CLICK HERE

My most recent book in the Prairie Roses Collection, Sue , is now available for sale as an ebook or at no additional cost with a Kindle Unlimited subscription. To find the book description and purchase options,

please CLICK HERE

Hal's Lucky Escape is now available for sale as an ebook or at no additional cost with a Kindle Unlimited subscription. To find the book description and purchase options, please CLICK HERE

My book, The Mine Owner's Rescue, Book 7 in The Rich Man Takes a Bride series is also available for sale as an ebook or at no additional cost with a Kindle Unlimited subscription. To find the book description and purchase options,

please CLICK HERE