Deep Gratitude
In my last post, I wrote about all the hate mail I’ve received these past few days. I even shared a Der-Stürmer-like image of a bloodthirsty, hook-nosed Orthodox Jew that some troll emailed me, after he’d repeatedly promised to send me a “diagram” that would improve my understanding of the Middle East. (Incredibly, commenters on Peter Woit’s blog then blamed me for this antisemitic image, mistakenly imagining that I’d created it myself, and then used their false assumption as further proof of my mental illness.)
Thanks to everyone who wrote to ask whether I’m holding up OK. The answer is: better than you’d expect! The first time you get attacked by dozens of Internet randos, it does feel like your life is over. But the sixth or seventh time? After you’ve experienced, firsthand, how illusory these people’s power over you actually is—how they can’t even dent your scientific career, can’t separate you from any of the friends who matter most to you (let alone your family), can’t really do anything to you beyond whatever they induce you to do to yourself? Then the deadly wolves appear more like poodles yapping from behind a fence. Try it and see!
Today I want to focus on a different kind of message that’s been filling my inbox. Namely, people telling me to stay strong, to keep up my courage, that everything I wrote strikes them as just commonsense morality.
It won’t surprise anyone that many of these people are Jews. But almost as many are not. I was touched to hear from several of my non-Jewish scientific colleagues—ones I’d had no idea were in my corner—that they are in my corner.
Then there was the American Gentile who emailed me a story about how, seeing an Orthodox family after October 7, he felt an urge to run up and tell them that, if worst ever came to worst, they could hide in his basement (“and I own guns,” he added). Amusingly, he added that his wife successfully dissuaded him from actually making such an offer, pointing out that it might freak out the recipients.
I replied that, here in America, I don’t expect that I’ll ever need to hide in anyone’s basement. But, I added, the only reason I don’t expect it is that there are so many Americans who, regardless of any religious or ideological differences, would hide their Jewish neighbors in their basements if necessary.
I also—despite neither I nor this guy exactly believing in God—decided to write a blessing for him, which came out as follows:
May your seed multiply a thousandfold, for like King Cyrus of Persia, you are a righteous man among the Gentiles. But also, if you’re ever in Austin, be sure to hit me up for tacos and beer.
I’m even grateful, in a way, to SneerClub, and to Woit and his minions. I’m grateful to them for so dramatically confirming that I’m not delusional: some portion of the world really is out to get me. I probably overestimated their power, but not their malevolence.
I’ve learned, for example, that there are no words, however balanced or qualified, with which I can express the concept that Israel needs to defeat Hamas for the sake of both Israeli and Palestinian children, which won’t lead to Woit calling me a “genocide apologist who wants to see all the children in Gaza killed.” Nor are there any words with which to express my solidarity with the Jewish Columbia students who, according to an official university investigation, were last year systematically excluded from campus social life, intimidated, and even assaulted, and which won’t earn me names from Woit like “a fanatic allied with America’s fascist dictator.” Even my months-long silence about these topics got me labeled as “complicit with fascism and genocide.”
Realizing this is oddly liberating. When your back is to the wall in that way, either you can surrender, or else you can defend yourself. Your enemy has already done you the “favor” of eliminating any third options. Which, again, is just Zionism in a nutshell. It’s the lesson not only of 3,000 years of Jewish history, but also of superhero comics and of much of the world’s literature and cinema. It takes a huge amount of ideological indoctrination before such things stop being obvious.
Reading the SneerClubbers’ armchair diagnoses of my severe mental illness, paranoia, persecution complex, grandiosity, etc. etc. I had the following thought, paraphrasing Shaw:
Yes, they’re absolutely right that psychologically well-adjusted people generally do figure out how to adapt themselves to the reigning morality of their social environment—as indicated by the Asch conformity test, the Milgram electric-shock experiment, and the other classics of social psychology.
It takes someone psychologically troubled, in one way or another, to persist in trying to adapt the reigning morality of their social environment to themselves.
If so, however, this suggests that all the moral progress of humanity depends on psychologically troubled people—a realization for which I’m deeply grateful.
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