When I was a little girl, I used to play with dolls. A lot. (Shocker, I know.)

And let me tell you, these games I played were plot-heavy. Missing Queens, attempted murder, evil grandmothers trying to marry off their granddaughters (disclaimer: My grandma never tried to marry me off, so I have no idea why this was always a plot point). Things got intense. There was divorce, death! Shattered dreams and broken friendships.

I don’t play with dolls anymore, but that love for the story and drama never left. Now, I channel that creative energy into my writing. But more often than not, I find myself daydreaming storylines as I drift off to sleep at night.

I mostly catch myself imagining these things when I’m supposed to be praying.

Ever do that? Get distracted when you’re talking with God?

Distracted Prayer

I always feel guilty when I realize I’ve become distracted with prayer, especially when I’ve been distracted by my own fake, imagined scenarios. I should be talking to God, and instead, I’m imagining what would happen if I were launched back through time, or how that conversation could have gone if I’d just said something else—anything else.

What-ifs and could-have-beens swirl around my head as I drift to sleep. If it’s not that, it’s the next plot point for my story or a new character that I can write about.

God deserves my attention. He deserves the best conversation I can give him, right? How easily swayed am I to be so easily distracted! Woe is me! Guilt and shame crowd my head as I snap out of my daydream and realize I had been in the middle of talking to God.

This used to be how every night was for me, until one day God said something I wasn’t expecting.

When God Says Different

I was in a daydream, imagining different characters (and having a grand old time daydreaming) when I realized I had been praying. I sat up in bed, shook my head, and immediately apologized.

“God, I’m so sorry! You deserve better than this. You deserve better attention,” I whispered.

And then I got a very strong image in my mind. It was of me, a little girl, playing with my dolls. Except this time, instead of being alone, God was sitting behind me, smiling from ear to ear at the stories I was coming up with.

“All you have to do is invite me in,” I heard him whisper. Slowly, I set my head back down on the pillow. Tentatively, I invited God into my daydreams.

All at once, so many things became clear to me. It isn’t just me playing by myself in my imagination. I’m playing with God. Just as we can learn a great deal about a child by what they play, I was letting God into a very vulnerable and special part of myself that I had deemed unworthy of Him. A part of me that I was…honestly? A little embarrassed by.

That night, as I imagined, I could feel God’s presence. But more than that, I realized a ton of stuff about myself I didn’t know before, and also realized I was stressing about something that I hadn’t given to God. By inviting God in, I was able to recognize where I needed to further surrender my life to him and had the opportunity to do so.

A challenge

There’s a time and place for this, of course. Sometimes, when you’re distracted by prayer, it can be a sign that something is wrong or that the enemy is trying to distract you from hearing from God.

But the next time you’re drifting off to sleep, and you’re letting your mind run wild, I challenge you to do this: Invite him in.

Just ask him in. Invite God to listen to the story your mind is coming up with. Let him see that vulnerable side of you, and then see what happens. 🙂 You might just learn something new about yourself, or about God.

Talking about daydreams…that’s how I came up with this short story. What if I could talk with my past and future self?

What would I say to them? Would teen angst get the best of me, or would I overcome?

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