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Leah Chrest’s grief turned into joy

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LEARN: Leah Chrest’s grief turned into joy

In the latest episode of the Positively Joy Podcast, author Leah Chrest shares her profound journey of grief after losing her husband. I found significance here and a connection to those of us who have lost marriages.

She discusses the complexities of navigating loss, the importance of faith in healing, and how to find joy amidst sorrow. Here’s an excerpt:

Yvette Walker: So when I met Leah, I learned that she was not actually divorced, but she lost her spouse. And we were talking about how there is a certain grief and loss that we can find a kinship in between women who have lost marriages and actually lost people.

Leah Chrest: My husband passed away four years ago yesterday. And so, I didn't date or anything for about two years after that. And then God pretty much kicked me into dating. The first couple of months after he died, I wanted so badly to get back out there and just date right away.

Yvette: Wow.

Leah: I wanted the distraction, but I knew that wasn't the wise thing to do. And then I got into it to a point where I was like, you know, maybe this isn't the best thing. I'm happy single, I'm a mother, I can focus on my kids, and I can focus on ministry. Maybe this is the best. But I found my current husband, and we’re coming up on a year of marriage. I am a mother of two, a stepmother of two, and a special education teacher. I've written two books. One of them is on grief recovery. It's called It's Okay to Be Okay.

My background is that my first husband was an alcoholic, and his health deteriorated to the point where he died from cirrhosis of his liver. He did have a couple of months of sobriety at the end. And for those of you on the channel who may have gotten a divorce because of substance abuse, I've had close friends tell me who have been in the situations say that, and their spouses have said it's what saved their lives because it forced them to hit bottom faster and to save themselves.

Yvette: My husband was not an alcoholic, but my father was. And my mother stayed with him, and he did not die of that, but it's a lot to go through. And so I just want to say, not that I'm applauding you or not trying to put you up on a pedestal, but I understand how that must have been so difficult to see him deteriorate because you love this man. So I'm so sorry that that happened.

But I was happy to hear that he did have a little bit of sobriety at the end, where he could love you and have your love before he got too sick.

Leah: Thank you. He did. I was so grateful for that, and the kids got to see their dad emotionally healthy, and that was really, really good. And I think he forgave himself, and self-forgiveness is so important. So there was so much healing that happened in the last couple of months, and I will always be grateful to God for that gift of time that we had. ⁓ Yeah. So, the grief recovery for me is almost entirely faith.

I wasn't content with just surviving. I wanted even in that year to thrive because I trusted that God was gonna hold us. Maybe this wasn't God's original plan, but he could redeem it. He could bring good from it. And I was relying on that. And I also knew I could grow from it. Yes, grief is very difficult, but it also pulls the rug out from under us and forces us to rely on God entirely.

And when you come to it, that's really where our happiness comes from. Our happiness isn't out there. It isn't a spouse. It isn't even any other close friendship. It's love, know, love cumulatively, but it isn't a person, and it isn't a thing or something to be achieved. It's an inside job because our Holy Spirit lives within you. And so...

Yvette: Girl, you are speaking my language.

Leah: So, you know, if you're grieving from divorce, look at this as an opportunity to draw closer to God than you have ever gone before. And I can tell you, and this is gonna sound crazy, but that year was the best year of my life so far.

Yvette: Really? How?

Leah: What made it the best year so far was that I developed a relationship with God that blew my mind. And I had that peace that goes beyond understanding. By the end of that year, I had witnessed and experienced the love of God to such a depth that I was forever changed. And so it is an invitation when you're going through grief, you know, there's a beautiful image of there's a hole in your heart, right? When we experience grief, one idea is to plant a garden around that hole, right? And you can plant that garden by looking at the joy in every day.

Listen to the rest of the episode here or in the player below.

Takeaways

Grief can be a pathway to deeper faith.

Self-forgiveness is crucial in the healing process.

Finding joy in small moments can help in grief.

Community support is vital during times of loss.

Surrendering to God can lead to healing.

Your sister in Christ,

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