It’s 5:13am and I have been awake for hours because I have a brain disease that rarely allows me to sleep for more than two hours at a time. Sometimes the first two hours is all I get.

But that’s not what I want to talk about. I just want to write earnestly about my feelings right now, on the edge of something exciting. I’m not good at being honest about my feelings, but floating in this space between exhaustion and giddy anticipation has made me weird.

I write sexually explicit queer romance nove...