For the many years (I’m not counting!) that I’ve been speaking at suicide-related events or planning them, one of the hardest parts always has been getting people to show up. I have done events where there has been no one. It’s so hard to me because I have always wanted to help people and how can I if they aren’t there to be present at an event or to hear me speak?

In the five years that we’ve done the Our Lady of Sorrows prayer service for those whose lives have been touched by suicide at my church, it’s been a challenge to get people there. Or, get more people there. I know that people are in pain and we just want to offer some bit of peace and hope.

Last night I was contemplating this as we getting ready to begin at the church. And that’s when God thought he’d send me a message.

It’s not just about the people who are in the church right now.

Those weren’t his exact words, but that was his overall message.

There are many people out there for whom showing up at an event like that might have been too painful. New Mexico is a state where the historical culture continues to foster the stigma in some way (particularly for Native American and Hispanic communities). While it might look like everyone is inclusive today, those feelings of years ago continue to exist for some people.

For others, it’s just the pain of losing a loved one. Some people don’t want to be there if they will cry or show any emotion. I always found comfort being with a group of people who had some understanding of my journey, but I understand not everyone feels that way.

And yet there are people who are trying to balance their lives– family, kids, jobs, taking care of parents– and can’t get away to take the time for themselves. They might also be afraid that getting away means they will break down and the schedule they must keep will fall apart.

While we were there to pray for those of us who were physically at the event (and our deceased loved ones), I know that there were many more people, both living and deceased, included in those prayers. What we do isn’t always about what we can see right in front of us. Sometimes we need a reminder that prayer is for those we can’t see, too.